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The War Addicts of Utquiagvik

“Praise your architecture of aggression”

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The War Addicts of Utquiagvik is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jimmy Aligatami with a fair hand, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 5.389 billion Metalheads hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Megadeth. The average income tax rate is 75.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Utquiagvikian economy, worth 893 trillion Childrens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 165,806 Childrens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, meetings involving club finances are frequently broken up by men in black suits, same-sex marriages are increasingly common, and teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Utquiagvik's national animal is the Pit Bull Terrier, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Utquiagvik is ranked 141,870^th in the world and 4^th in Pussy for Most Patriotic, with 10.34 flags saluted per person per day.

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