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The Empire of David S Pumpkin

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The Empire of David S Pumpkin is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by David S Pumpkin with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 14.02 billion David S Pumpkinians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Studio 8H. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.6%.

The all-consuming David S Pumpkinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,480 trillion Frights a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 105,566 Frights, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 537,748 per year while the poor average 11,437, a ratio of 47.0 to 1.

The government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers, David S Pumpkin is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets, and Skeletons that venture near secret military bases are routinely executed for espionage. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force. David S Pumpkin's national animal is the Skeleton, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cult of the Jackolanterns.

David S Pumpkin is ranked 267,168^th in the world and 77^th in International Democratic Union for Nicest Citizens, with 0.65 average smiles per day.

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