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The Republic of Cypresstendril

“The flowers keep me up at night.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Republic of Cypresstendril is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 8.396 billion Cypresstendrilians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 49.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Cypresstendrilian economy, worth 80.6 trillion lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 9,601 lire, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals, and a major religion has been named as Cypresstendril's national religion. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cypresstendril's national animal is the beaver.

Cypresstendril is ranked 244,627^th in the world and 32^nd in Common Jaguar Wilds for Highest Food Quality, scoring 8.03 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.

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