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The Armed Junta of Asgarnnia

“Para compreender, destruí-me.”

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The Armed Junta of Asgarnnia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the Autarch with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.253 billion Asgarnnii are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Environment and Welfare not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swolla. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Asgarnnian economy, worth a remarkable 7,655 trillion Kavorkian Scarves a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 303,162 Kavorkian Scarves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,820,298 per year while the poor average 2,972, a ratio of 948 to 1.

Deli patrons examine their roast beef for undetonated explosives, the sidewalk is used as an overtaking lane by city drivers, older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, and the nation was recently voted as the most stylish in Tuig. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Asgarnnia's national animal is the Girl Next Door, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Apostolic Atheism.

Asgarnnia is ranked 7,325^th in the world and 1^st in Tuig for Most Corrupt Governments, with 183.39 kickbacks per hour.

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