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The Too Sexy For My Keffiyeh of Captain Woodhouse

“Skin on skin, let the love begin”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Too Sexy For My Keffiyeh of Captain Woodhouse is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Professor Fate with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, otherworldly petting zoo, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.764 billion Captain Woodhouseans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Valley of Ashes. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Captain Woodhousean economy, worth a remarkable 9,945 trillion $$s a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 386,015 $$s, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,461,761 per year while the poor average 70,844, a ratio of 20.6 to 1.

Adult unemployment is rising as available jobs are filled by young children, women earn less than half the salary of men if they can even find a job, the government is purchasing vast amounts of palm oil for plastics production, and piracy is the nation's most popular pastime. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Captain Woodhouse's national animal is the Death's-head hawkmoth, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aubrey-Maturinism.

Captain Woodhouse is ranked 284,546^th in the world and 21^st in Islam for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 11.38 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

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