The Red East

*A mysterious purple ball of unusual origin with beige rings, large white eyes, a tiny mouth and nose rolls through the quiet coast until it bumps into Ya Zhu. Ya Zhu, interrupted by the sentient being who turns out to be Ya Zhu's personal sidekick, looks down upon the object with scornful eyes.*

Ya Zhu: "Nǐ xiǎng yào shénme?" ("What do you want?")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "Psst. I'm your sidekick, ya? Is that right? Name's Ru-Wan-Jin."
Ya Zhu: "Wǒ bù zhīdào nǐ zài zhè fùjìn zuò shénme. Nǐ bùshì wǒ de tóngzhì." ("I don't know what you're doing around here. You are no comrade of mine.")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "I'm not your usual sidekick that is solid with nothing on its sides. Look at me! I'm in a ringed ballad costume."
Ya Zhu: "Nǐ zuì hǎo zhùyì nǐ shuō dehuà, fǒuzé wǒ huì bǎ nǐ rēng jìn hǎilǐ, hé yú yīqǐ yóuyǒng.” ("You better watch you're saying, or I'll drop you in the sea, swimming with the fishes.")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "Chill it out, ya hear? Listen to me, ya, your friend in arms... is in deep vain. I can show you ya way, ya? Don't want some shady people in tuxedos to grab ye on the way."
Ya Zhu: "Kuài diǎn, nǐ zhǐyǒu yī fēnzhōng." ("Make it quick, you have one minute.")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "Right, uh, so yer Chief Sergeant Karola, ye know her? She's been kidnapped the other day somehow. No one else needs to know, only me. She's probably locked up in some faraway empire... to the east of yere."
Ya Zhu: "Xiànzài wǒ yīnggāi rúhé tōngguò nàgè jiùyuán tíyì?" ("Now how am I supposed to go through that rescue offer?")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "You'll find out when you come rith me. But, one problem, though. I'm the only one too reavy to carry, so raybe some workmanship rould do, ya?"
Ya Zhu: "Zuì hǎo shì liǎng gèrén de gōngzuò." ("A two-man job would be best.")
Ru-Wan-Jin: "Much obliged to help carry ye arong. Rey, ron't reave ye ball friend ranging yon the reach, rey!"

*The mysterious purple ball tries to roll, but struggles to stay balanced, continuing to spout nonsensical distressing English romaji words to no one in particular.*

*The mysterious Rucianball slowly moves to your feet, probably picking up sand in its tiny mouth, struggling to talk.*
Ru-Wan-Jin: "Rey're (They're) either moving places to roid (avoid) some ancient deity's wrath, ya (you) probably never heard in reir (their) news broadcasts by state. Ror (Or) been taken away by devout relivers (believers) of the Wake. And then, Ya's friend Karola, her Chief Sergeant, of the so-called Rise, rot (got) kidnapped, and in reed (need) of rescue. Reeds (Needs) a two-man (two people) to help me find her, rore (before) it's too late. It could recimate (decimate) morale within her rorce (force)."
*The Rucianball just idles there in the beach under its own weight.*