The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

Spreads rock salt and sawdust on the Bar floor...

Sips last drop of their tea, and ignores the magically* refilled cup as he gets to his feet...

_{*Praise be to our Lord & Savior The Jedi-Zombi Jezus}

Armed Forces Of Acara Shura wrote:

I choose VIOLENCE today!

Ok.

Starts beating you with his umbrella, before spitting hot tea in your face.

Unleashes obscenely muscular prize-fighting Kangaroo kickboxer, a few Eastern brown snakes, and discreetly releases a couple black widow spiders to make the fight 'interesting'...

Adds a couple King cobras for good measure.

Might aswell start placing bets, eh?

Canarda wrote:

Might aswell start placing bets, eh?

A dollar on Acara Shura!

Canarda wrote:

Might aswell start placing bets, eh?

5 Euros on the Brit!

Strikes up and starts playing...
_{https://youtu.be/sHD-knhS6es}

Armed Forces Of Acara Shura wrote:

I choose VIOLENCE today!

Crashes a helicopter🚁 outside and walks slowly out of the ensuing 🔥fireball💥explosion🔥, throwing knives at the snakes, punching the kangaroo, and deploying a flamethrower upon the spiders...

Bar Fight is it? OK!

Slams a chair over the heads of The Sмooтʜ-тᴀʟкıɴԍ Dıpʟoмᴀтs of Great British Federation, and deploys a cricket bat to the faces of the Armed Forces Of Acara Shura...

HUZZAH!

Rips shirt off, and oils up.

Let's get READY TO RUMBLE!!!

Punches Squadron Commander Lord Flashheart, grabs his cricket bat, and uses it against Phat Turkey...

Slits throat, and roasts Phat Turkey at 350°

Brocklandia wrote:

Welcome back. Oh, everything's been the same old same old. The Bar still gets blown up or burnt down on a daily basis, and Cheffy's cooking is just as terrible ... terrific as you remember. Your usual seat and your bar tab are still waiting on you.

Ah. Thanks. For me, things have been... different.

For one, we changed the flag as we felt the old one should be changed and Mastald, our former colony, has been taken over by a Cultist.

So that's new.

Anyway, uh. I'll have a Hard Apple Cider and some Bourbon Chicken.

And if you see Mastald, you may want to avoid eye contact. They have... a thing for eyes now.

Mastald is here now.

Hail the eyes! THE EYES!

Have you heard the glory of the Order of the Bloody Eye?

Eastazia wrote:

...Obligatory appearance of oriental martial arts experts...

Obligatory slaughter of communists by CIA-backed Islamic militants.
_{With 1980s-style praise for their 'freedom fighting'.}

*lurks*

Mindon wrote:

...I'll have a Hard Apple Cider and some Bourbon Chicken...

Pours you a Kopparberg Sparkling Rosé Cider, and brings it over to you with a plate of roast chicken in a Bourbon whisky barbecue glaze.

Definitely toby wrote:

*lurks*

Offers you a pack of peanuts.

[Eats stolen seeds watching the brawl]

Eastazia wrote:

...Obligatory appearance of oriental martial arts experts...

Is "Oriental" still an acceptable word?--Or are the Social Justice SWAT teams gonna storm through here and track mud on our floors again? I am not cleaning that up.

Thick-Billed Longspur wrote:

[Eats stolen seeds watching the brawl]

Psst! Now go steal Definitely toby's peanuts.

Phat Turkey wrote:

Rips shirt off, and oils up.

Oh, look!--It's Fabio. Romance novel covers haven't been the same since his pecs started to sag.

Armed Forces Of Acara Shura wrote:

I choose VIOLENCE today!

Rescues Acara Shura, slaps The Sмooтʜ-тᴀʟкıɴԍ Dıpʟoмᴀтs of Great British Federation, and pisses in their tea...

Grabs Canarda and locks them in a cage with a hungry brown bear...

Kicks Bruddhistan into the snakepit.

Jason Vo0rhees wrote:

Slits throat, and roasts Phat Turkey at 350°

Grabs a drumstick🍗...

Eastazia wrote:

...Obligatory appearance of oriental martial arts experts...

Drops Napalm in the Morning, and deploys Chuck Norris - taking out the communists AND the militants...

Stabs Turkey bone in the eyes of Mastald.

Mastald wrote:

...the eyes! THE EYES!

'MURICA!! F*CK YEAH!!!

Puttin On the Ritz wrote:

Good thing platypuses are my favorite animal. You're losing money on this gallon big time, considering that they're endangered, protected by low, and the ridiculous sums that you'd have to pay to even extract only the milk. Imagine what the meeting looked like..

Protected? Since when? We have a whole wall of cages downstairs with platypuses--platypi, whatever--in them, just waiting to be milked every morning. No way do we want them getting uppity and demanding civil rights under the wildlife protection laws.

Besides, our platypuses can't be considered wildlife. They'd never be able to survive in the wild without their premium Netflix subscription packages.