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N-Day6: Aftermath

by Max Barry
Sun, 26 Sep 2021

This year was a triumph for the big guy, as two megafactions dominated the landscape. Ultimately it resulted in a supreme Crab hegemony in which all the little guys were pancaked early and thoroughly, and every leaderboard Top 10 slot was claimed by Crabs of the Apocalypse and associates.

Here's a summary from our eyes on the ground, Sedgistan:

Like generals preparing to fight the last war, the major players prepared for this year's event expecting it to be like last year's. That had seen the biggest faction (Horsemen of the Apocalypse) nuked to oblivion when everyone else ganged up. So the solution was to get even bigger: HotA merged with CRAB to form Crabs of the Apocalypse, twice the size of last year's and the biggest by far ever seen on N-Day.

The Potato Alliance grew as well, albeit only to half the size of CotA, but that was it for megafactions. Augustin Alliance didn't return, neither did Ba Sing Se (some ended up in CotA, others didn't participate) or ATOMIC. The Catgirl Hivemind was the only other faction this year with more than a thousand nations; last year there were six.

CotA and TPA had a non-aggression pact that lasted for the first 12 hours of the event, after which either could end by giving two hours notice. So both megafactions spent the first half of the event obliterating everyone else, then at the halfway point, TPA gave notice of ending the non-agression pact, knowing that a fight between the big two was inevitable. Two hours later, The Potato Alliance launched its nukes at the Crabs of the Apocalypse... a small fraction got through, most were shielded. CoTA then responded with a colossal barrage, having something like 1.5 million nukes stockpiled at this point, and that was the end of the Potatoes.

CotA spent the remainder of the event wrapping up every last remaining nation, and clearing up the scoreboard.

This was a shocking turn of events, because no-one expects nuclear war to be one side just nuking the other with no serious threat of reprisal. That's some kind of 1940s garbage. We expect our nuclear wars to be finely balanced games of mutually assured destruction.

But congratulations to Crabs, who came in with a game plan and executed it to perfection. It's not Crabs's fault that it's so good at nuking people.

In doing so, it achieved an all-time record score:

1.Crabs of the Apocalypse1,287,97416,601 NationsCrabs of the Apocalypse
2.Crabs of the Apocalypse 25,75111 NationsCota 2
3.Crabs of the Apocalypse 34,65311 NationsCota 3
4.Crabs of the Apocalypse 44,21111 NationsCota 4
5.Crabs of the Apocalypse 53,98511 NationsCota 5
6.Crabs of the Apocalypse 63,44411 NationsCota 6
7.Crabs of the Apocalypse 73,08311 NationsCota 7
8.Crabs of the Apocalypse 82,76211 NationsCota 8
9.Crabs of the Apocalypse 92,38511 NationsCota 9
10.its Crabs all the way down btw1,73111 NationsCota gang

Here are our global stats. Most of these are also all-time records:

  • 564 factions were created.

  • 32,743 nations joined a faction.

  • 3,247,651 nukes were targeted.

  • 2,751,847 nukes were launched.

  • 704,807 nukes were shot down.

  • 2,047,432 strikes occurred for 1,473,601 radiation.

Thank you for participating in N-Day6! We've had a lot of fun here today, but remember, nukes aren't just for playing games: They're mostly for creating death and destruction on an unimaginable scale. Have a great day.