The North PacificBoard

Hello, I'm Lindzita Lohanna. Here's today's top story. Trial and court proceedings have begun for the 23 year old woman from Bloody Creek District after she went against Horrorlandian State Law and married a Venti body pillow. The 23 year old has been identified as Rebecca Madding-Hemingblood of Bloody Creek District.

She was seen in court today looking awful and distraught as the judge told her to remain silent. Fidgeting and looking hungry, she looked to the cameras in tears and begged her mother to forgive her for embarrassing the family. She was in front of the judge for a mere ten minutes and continuously cried for her Venti body pillow with which she exchanged her vows just the other day.

Judge Gary Glenanberi said that her case was rather unusual as it has been years since the District had had a similar case go before the courts. Back in 1910, a woman was charged for marrying a blue suit and was sentenced to 70 years imprisonment. In 1838, a man was brought before the courts after marrying a shovel and a pail. He was given 80 years.

Time will only tell what will happen to young Rebecca Madding-Hemingblood. The judge says they will seek the maximum sentence for such crimes allowable which is 90 years. A psychiatric evaluation of Ms. Madding-Hemingblood may be necessary, but it is a taboo and controversial process in the nation says Human Rights Activist and Advocate Essa Shatterbones-Bifififi. We will do everything we possibly can to support her and her family at this crucial time, she added.

Stay with HNN for more news!

Fortisbellator ii wrote:

I’m not trying to disprove you, those are just two true counterpoints I’m stating.

Not really. You're confusing the biological definition of fruit with the culinary definition of fruit. A tomato is biologically a fruit, but it is not used as such in food.

Filibustra wrote:

I'd prefer some rice and veggies... I'm not a giraffe you know...

A gourds and grass kinda guy, huh?

Filibustra wrote:

*Lives in town infested with dogs the size of medium sized rats*

I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Lives in a rat infested with dogs the size of medium sized towns*

I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nilinmo wrote:

I cant its been deleted

If it had been the graveyard would have recorded it, and you wouldn't have been able to get that name.

Oceanica Empire wrote:

According to my mother I have been in a fight. When I was in pre-K and some big kid took my toy, I asked for it back but he refused. So I did what any normal human being would do, I jumped on top of his back and started attacking him.

According to my mother, I ***********************.

Pretty sure i shouldn't say that here...