"On Sunday, November 8th, the extremely handsome and wonderful nation named Viciebskaja created the Ohio Burger News Network as a ploy to get power in the Bluecrown Keep region by controlling the regional media to eventually coup the delegacy and become supreme overlord for life. Vic officially said during a media interview that he created the OBNN due to boredom, but this obviously is a blatant lie.
Vic got the idea to create the Ohio Burger News Network by asking Nooooooooooooooo and Baloo Kingdom to send random words on the Bluecrown Keep regional message board. It remains a mystery how the words “Ohio” and “burger” are supposed to make the OBNN sound like a serious news publication.
Viciebskaja said in a recent public appearance that he plans to release issues of the OBNN regularly, which also means “whenever I feel like it”. When asked why the Bluecrown Keep region needs another news publication when the Bluecrown Gazette already exists, Vic retaliated by firing a water gun filled with tomato sauce at Plus Nova Imperii and leaving the podium.
Viciebskaja will be funding the publication and distribution of OBNN issues by stealing money from his fictitious nation that exists in an online nation management simulator. Viciebskaja flexed his “average income of rich” statistic in said fictitious nation. This baffled everyone.
Viciebskaja will include Roleplay and Opinion sections in these issues, with more sections to be added in future issues of the OBNN.
ROLEPLAY: Sorianora Saves Charmless Frozen Wasteland With Superhero Army Yesterday, the nation of Sorianora took advantage of Viciebskajan internal chaos due to an influenza epidemic to invade and take over the entirety of Alaska, Yukon, and the Northwest Territories.
This made Alaskan leader Vic Attikirq visibly distraught, and in a last ditch effort to relate to “the kiddos”, Attikirq sent this official statement:
Viciebskaja wrote: Bruh Sorianoran troops were not deterred, and contracted immortality and godly powers after becoming human vaccines running through flu-infected cities in Alaska. Alaskan citizens were immediately cured from their flu by these Sorianoran superheroes and immediately swore loyalty to their new Sorianoran overlords.
In Kotzebue, Alaska, a pro-Sorianoran parade was held, and it was honestly really boring because all they did was wave Sorianoran flags around. And the Sorianoran flag does not even have a popular character on the flag, which made it almost unbearable to look at for more than five seconds! Sorianoran flag designers, take tips from Viciebskaja and Nooooooooooooooo, please.
Meanwhile, the old Alaskan government fled to the woods in British Columbia, where they are likely being eaten by bears. The OBNN sends prayers to their fictitious and made-up families, and asks Baloo Kingdom to have some remorse and consider becoming vegan.
OPINION: Barlyy Should Be Banned From NationStates Barlyy. Viciebskaja. Treciene. Maxtopia. What do these nations have in common? They are all controlled by the same tyrannical leader. This injustice must stop, and I implore the NationStates version of God (a.k.a. The Dream of Kirby) to take action and ban these nations. The removal of Maxtopia from the site is a good first start.
Barlyy and his alts are working together to make NationStates a fiery hellhole where everyone is named after a Mario character that has their name start with the letter W. With this dystopian W-name rule in place, Barlyy will then take over every region in NationStates with his over 10,000 world assembly member nations and over 100,000 non-WA nations that are already lurking all over the site, trying to blend in with the rest of us.
Assuming The Dream of Kirby does not take action or has already been infected with the Barlyy virus, us non-Barlyyites must work together to survive against this Barlyy invasion. I suggest using tips from the popular video game “Amongst Us”, such as calling Barlyyites “sus” and escaping in a weird spaceship called the “Zkeld” that runs on non-ecofriendly engine oil. This will ensure we survive for at least ten additional minutes as the Barlyy searches for innocents to infect on the spaceship.
If copying “Amongst Us” does not work, we can try and blend in ourselves to try and escape infection by changing our NationStates flag every 12 hours. This is a good way to spot a Barlyyite as well, so keep an eye out for frequent flag changers.
And if Plan B fails, we can just all fly over to The Wooloo Pact and scream, spam the regional RMB, and run around to confuse the Barlyyites. This won’t work, but I think it would be funny."
The République Barltave of Barlyy
The Soviet Socialist Union of Sorianora
The Realm of Poskukune
The Jiving Jungle of Baloo Kingdom
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