Phlegfamadorgahreignat's Warmest Greetings

We are publishing our first official message to introduce all of you to an arising power in Sylvestria. Of course, we have not yet attained our maximum potential, but all will come in time.

The Holy Empire of the Sanguine King Phlegfamadorgahreignat is still recovering from the scourge of its previous occupants. For this reason, we have a temporary crutch on the automobile and technological sectors. We of course aim to produce efficient industry through manufacture and mining and bring eternal glory to The Sanguine King (myself). As this is written, we are currently leveraging control over our citizens, which is the first in a many step plan, ultimately ending once every human is enjoying a 168 hour work week to further our industry.

Those foolish and unenlightened among you may wonder who I, the Sanguine King Phlegfamadorgahreignat, am. It is natural to wonder, but, as it is wholly unnatural to ask questions, I will answer for you now: I am the well-sculpted human form of a timeless, dimensionless being that resides deep beneath the Earth's crust. This is objective fact. Any previous "diagnoses" of insanity are entirely unfounded and come from nonbeleivers.

Within weeks, we will own the world.

Expect another message soon.