5
Dispatch → Bulletin → Campaign
Kursibar for Surveyor
Sounds like a logical response, right? Well, little do you know, that's exactly what They would have you say. You already know who They are. The Discord Elite who pull the strings behind the scenes. Seriously, They don't want me appointed Surveyor because They fear me. They fear us, dear friends, because we are many and they are few. I make the perfect choice for this hallowed office because I'm both lovable and brilliant, true story, pinkie promise, cross my heart and hope to die. Things I totally promise to do can be referenced in the table below:
Promise | Intent |
Run engaging and interesting polls | Fufill the demands of my position |
That's really all that's required of the office | No, seriously, that's it |
I also promise to do other things that may or may not benefit the region, depending on how conscious you are of Their manipulations in our lives:
Promise | Intent |
Start Fights | Increase on-site engagement |
Embrace the unstoppable tide of Anarcho-Marxist-Cannibalism | Accept and bend like the reed, not fall like the tree |
Duby stands alone and untouchable upon a rotting stallion | The WA will fall, and two nobles long shall wage a fruitless war |
Reveal all futures for the low price of a nickel | A price you simply can't beat, step up, step up, give it a try |
Unearth the truths of ancient Babylon—truths so horrible as to shatter minds—inscribed on the Dead Sea Scrolls | And The Cloud shall come forth with him, with tongues of fire. |
Use the emdash more often instead of sprinkling commas everywhere as I'm wont to do | I like the emdash—it's unequaled in the grace and fluidity it provides |
Purge the Gamerite | Perpetuate the cycle of violence |
Get involved in some sort of quagmire against insurgent forces in Iraq Land's End | They have Weapons of Mass Destruction |
As you can see by the tables, I offer a complete package of experience that no other person forcing their way into office can. Finance, sociocultural rules, all of it is governed by my extensive 7-point plan. Truly, there has never been—nor will there ever be—a more encompassing Surveying experience. That's why I need you (yes, you!) to pester whoever wins the MoDA office the upcoming April into appointing me as Surveyor.
Manu Propria 4-3-2022