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DispatchBulletinCampaign

by The Clean and Green Corponation of Kursibar. . 46 reads.

Kursibar for Surveyor



"A Campaign Dispatch? For a position that isn't even elected? Kurs, what in Sam Hill are you even thinking?"

Sounds like a logical response, right? Well, little do you know, that's exactly what They would have you say. You already know who They are. The Discord Elite who pull the strings behind the scenes. Seriously, They don't want me appointed Surveyor because They fear me. They fear us, dear friends, because we are many and they are few. I make the perfect choice for this hallowed office because I'm both lovable and brilliant, true story, pinkie promise, cross my heart and hope to die. Things I totally promise to do can be referenced in the table below:

Promise

Intent

Run engaging and interesting polls

Fufill the demands of my position

That's really all that's required of the office

No, seriously, that's it

"But Wait! There's More!"

I also promise to do other things that may or may not benefit the region, depending on how conscious you are of Their manipulations in our lives:

Promise

Intent

Start Fights

Increase on-site engagement

Embrace the unstoppable tide of Anarcho-Marxist-Cannibalism

Accept and bend like the reed, not fall like the tree

Duby stands alone and untouchable upon a rotting stallion

The WA will fall, and two nobles long shall wage a fruitless war

Reveal all futures for the low price of a nickel

A price you simply can't beat, step up, step up, give it a try

Unearth the truths of ancient Babylon—truths so horrible as to shatter minds—inscribed on the Dead Sea Scrolls

And The Cloud shall come forth with him, with tongues of fire.

Use the emdash more often instead of sprinkling commas everywhere as I'm wont to do

I like the emdash—it's unequaled in the grace and fluidity it provides

Purge the Gamerite

Perpetuate the cycle of violence

Get involved in some sort of quagmire against insurgent forces in Iraq Land's End

They have Weapons of Mass Destruction

"Kursibar Does What Nobody Else Wants Him To Do...n't"

As you can see by the tables, I offer a complete package of experience that no other person forcing their way into office can. Finance, sociocultural rules, all of it is governed by my extensive 7-point plan. Truly, there has never been—nor will there ever be—a more encompassing Surveying experience. That's why I need you (yes, you!) to pester whoever wins the MoDA office the upcoming April into appointing me as Surveyor.

"Obligatory Digital Signature"

Manu Propria 4-3-2022

RawReport