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by The Eccentric Skies of Luna State. . 369 reads.

Osiris Government Referendum Platforms

Osiris has had a long vibrant history, and has cycled through different governmental layouts before. It's time we take a step back to our roots, and really assess what our community wants for a brighter, successful future. As such, four members of our government have set out their own individual proposals as follows:

From Tethys 13:

The silent majority demands blub blub
Vote for aquatic liberation today!

Too long have our piscine comrades languished under the heel of the air-breathers - bullied by orcas and dolphins, slaughtered en masse by humanity, dragged from their home and cast far adrift by hurricanes. No more! Tethys 13 vows to set things right in a 13-step plan.

1. Any true Osiran knows that the sky is just another ocean within the iron shell of Nut's womb. It is unforgivable that dead humans are allowed to travel through it but not the water's rightful children. All human souls shall be returned to haunt the land, and the sky shall be exclusively for the souls of fish and other aquatic creatures.
2. The Mycenean Greeks knew right, that Poseidon was the one worthy Ruler of the Gods. Look what has happened since their successors gave that role to Zeus - sleazy scandal after sexual assault, time and again! For the second step, Zeus will be deposed and Poseidon restored, as he can be trusted not to do that quite as much. Mostly. A little.
3. On second thought, Greek religion shall be wholly abolished and supplanted by Egyptian.
4. A watchforce shall be instituted to respond to incidents of mammalian bullying. Mammals with a track record of good behaviour are also protected under these rules, but those who act outrageously shall be given Antisocial Behaviour Orders, with possible Aquarium sentences for continued offences.
5. Salmon Pink shall be renamed. It is utterly offensive to have a colour named after the eviscerated innards of a living creature.
6. Hydroelectric plants shall be replaced by mass wind farms. These may be placed at sea, so that any errant birds that fly into them may contribute to the food chain.
7. All commercial and casual fishing with any form of tool shall be banned. Those found catching fish with anything other than their bare hands and teeth will be subject to extreme punishments.
8. Measures shall be taken to reduce pollution. All oceanic oil platforms shall be safely shut down, and plastic waste shall be gathered and transported to land. Furthermore, plastic factories shall be limited to one per country, with all others converted into plastic recycling facilities. Similar measures may be put in place for glass and other such materials, pending further research.
9. All aquatic travel, including ships and submarines, shall be subject to a high and exponentially correlating tax on any noise over 100 decibels.
10. All shark poachers and shark fin soup makers shall be fed to sharks.
11. The Water Cycle shall be abolished. In its place, 'water elevators' shall be established, whereby fish can travel to the upper ocean to visit passed relatives. These shall also carry water, to be sold as rain to the land-based nations.
12. Groudon and Rayquaza shall accept Kyogre as leader of the Weather Trio, and the former shall cede 30% of its territory. This 'Archie Annexation Project' shall be further developed after sufficient research has been completed.
13. Dissidents shall be sacrificed to Cthulhu, the Great Dreamer, 47°9′S 123°43′W in the southern Pacific Ocean, s'uhn-ngh athg li'hee orr'e syha'h.

From Malphe II:

[EDITORS NOTE: these messages were discerned from a number of inaudible deep rumblings detected under a number of major cities. These have been interpreted as morse code.]

We are the rats. Our demands are not negotiable. Accept this.

1. All rat poison shall be dumped into the sea.

2. Pools, lakes, reservoirs and all other bodies of fresh stillwater shall be outlawed due to the risk of flooding endangering rodentine life.

3. All man-things shall be given thorough swimming lessons by rodentine teachers to combat the same risk of death by flooding.

4. Any remaining humans not occupied with their swimming lessons will be put to work in the production of Camenbert, Sharp Cheddar, Red Leicester and Brie.

5. Mice shall be destroyed. They have been our rivals for too long.

6. The continent of south america will be destroyed.

Yes-yes.

From Wymondham:


Let’s put the tea in Tomorrow

With a British majority on the Council of Guardians, it is only right that Osiris’ government change to reflect its new British overlords.

Tea

Tea is the lifeblood of every brit, therefore on the subject of tea the Brisiris party resolves as follows to but the Tea into tomorrow
Every citizen to drink at least two cups of tea a day
Making tea with anything but water boiled in a kettle shall be classified as treason
The number of votes allocated to a citizen in the Council of Scribes shall be equal to the number cups of tea they consume each day
Consuming tea with steamed milk, especially in the form of a latte shall be considered treason
Tea consumed in the morning shall always be English breakfast but only herbal tea may be consumed after 6PM

Government Structure

Our vision of Osiris would not merely be a democracy it would be a British democracy. With this in mind we propose the following reforms to bring forward the best British traditions of unnecessary bureaucracy, unaccountable officidom and democracy in name only.
Each department to be organised into 15 different departmental committees, each containing 5 different subcommittees further subdivided into 6 different reporting committees. The departmental committees will report to a departmental liaison committee which shall create an interdepartmental investigative committee into establishing an interdepartmental implementation committee to implement the reports of other committees.
Honours and awards to be given out in cases of incompetence
Incompetence will result in a reward of Osiris Reward Points and promotion to a post in another department
All department names to use QUEENS ENGLISH and none of this colonial nonsense
Queen Elizabeth II to be declared Pharaoh of Osiris
Citizens shall elected representatives who shall then be completely ignored by the government
The method of turning votes into a result shall be as obscure and disproportionate as possible
All winning candidates shall be required to symbolically shred their manifesto before being sworn in

Regional Culture

To enhance Osiris new Great British style, a few minor adjustments to the region’s culture are needed:
All citizens will be given ridiculously stereotypical British names that no British person would ever be called and shall be expected to use them throughout the region
Only Fish and Chips may be consumed on a Friday
Afternoon tea with scones and sandwiches must be consumed once a week by all citizens, the clotted cream must be placed on top of the jam.
The area on the side of the road reserved for pedestrians shall be referred to as the pavement not the sidewalk

Should Britsiris be chosen as the new form of government for Osiris, we promise to implement absolutely none of our manifesto commitments.

From Luna State:

Times are changing, and while the ocean may have once ruled, not anymore. The water cycle has proven that everything evaporates into the sky eventually, we may as well speed along the process.
The old and outdated must make way for something new! We need an ~aesthetic revamp~.

1. All new laws and important legal documents must now contain a minimum of one (1) non-standard font, two (2) contrasting colors, and any three (3) unique emojis 📜 📚 🗂 before they may be considered official.

2. Nation pretitles, Discord nicknames, treaty titles, and new law titles must now contain alliteration. It does not need to be good alliteration. If this is deemed not possible, a malaphor will suffice. Even two stones will fit in a basket.

3. Lacking a theme for a nation, or alternatively using a basic flag is no longer allowed.

4. All documents must have exactly four points. Do it for the aesthetic.

The Eccentric Skies of Luna State

Edited:

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