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DispatchFactbookMiscellaneous

by Dollystana. . 62 reads.

An AI writes bad Harry Potter fanfiction

This took so long to make, plz upvote it xD

[spoiler=Story]I am a Muggle-born who thought I was perfectly normal. That is, until Hagrid arrived at my door and said "You are a wizard! You belong in Hogwarts!" I didn't believe him at first, but then he showed me the letter that would change everything. He told me to go with him and show the headmaster what I could do.

> You ask Hagrid "Where do we go first!"
"Well, you can take your trunk to the Floo Network."
"What about the rest of my things?

> You say "Where do the rest of my things go?"
"The rest of your things? Well, I suppose you can take them along with you on the train. Just don't let them out!"

> You say "Where's the train?"
"You'll be riding the express to London, where you will transfer to another train that will take you to Kings Cross station."
"Okay!"
I go to Kings Cross Station and say "Where is the platform?" Hagrid responded with "Oh, it's platform 9 3/4." "But Platform 9 3/4 doesn't exist!" Hagrid said "You just see." I look and see a train. "I guess I'll get on the train."
The train ride is boring, but faster than taking the train from London.
I meet a boy there that I've never seen before, but I feel like I somehow knew him. "Who are you?" I said. The boy said "My name is Harry Potter. I thought everyone knew that." "Well I didn't!" I said. "I'm Muggle-born." "Cool!" he said. "I have a friend who's Muggle-born." Should I trust this kid or not, I wondered.
I had three options:
Option 1: Trust Harry, but be cautious.
Option 2: Not trust Harry, but be very cautious.
Option 3: Not trust Harry, and be very cautious.

> You choose option 1.
I chose to trust Harry, and we became friends after that. He'll probably be on the Express too, with his family.
Harry introduces his friends. "These are Ron and Hermione," he says. "Hermione is who I was telling you about earlier." "Well we better hurry!" says Ron. "We don't want to miss the Sorting!"
At the Sorting, the Sorting Hat says "You will be sorted into four houses, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff." I put the hat on. "Ravenclaw!" it says. "Dang." says Harry. "That means we'll spend less time with you." It's actually true, since the Hat only puts people in the House that they supposedly belong too.
The Sorting Ceremony is pretty funny though.

> You go to first-period class with your fellow Ravenclaws. There, you meet a girl called Luna Lovegood.
"Have you heard about the new girl?" says Luna, as we walk to class. "Name's Harry Potter. Famous. Supposed to be the first one to survive the fall of the new regime.

> You say "Um, I thought Harry Potter was a boy."
"So did I," she says, rolling her eyes. "But everyone seems to think he's a boy, so that's what I'll go by. So, do you go to this Harry Potter?
"Yes. I just met him but we are already pretty good friends," I say. "So do you want to be friends with me?" Luna says. "Yeah, I guess," she shrugs. "Sure," she says, extending a hand, which you shake.
We sit together at the table by the window.
"Hey, Harry," says Luna.

> You say "Where is Neville Longbottom?"
"He's English. He'll probably be reading Pride and Prejudice or The Grapes of Wrath or some other boring book about the English."
"Glad to hear he has some class," says Luna.

> You say "I thought everyone in Hogwarts is English."
"Oh, they are," she says. "But some people just prefer to pretend they aren't."
I arrive in Defense Against the Dark Arts class and Professor Flitwick greets me.

> You say "But Professor Flitwick, sir, don't you teach Charms?"
"Sure I do," he says. "But before we begin let's just hope that tonight's class is small. That's the only way you'll be able to get a good seat."
Bewildered by what he said, I take a seat only to realize that we actually needed to use a Flying Charm to get that seat in the air. "That's twenty points from Ravenclaw." Flitwick says.

> You talk with Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Luna.
"Hey," I say. "How are you all doing?"
"Pretty good, considering," says Harry.
"Yeah," says Seamus.

> You say "Considering what?"
"Considering we're about to bomb the hell out of some wizarding school in Ireland."
"Why would we do that, Har-" I begin to ask. "Professor Flitwick!" yells Lavender Brown.
I convince them not to bomb the other school. Eventually they agree, and I sit with my friends on the Express.
Lavender is beautiful, but an obnoxious know-it-all. Parvati's nice, but kind of annoying.

> You hear news about Death Eaters attacking places in England. Curious, you overhear the Slytherins' conversation.
"What are we, chopped liver?" says one of the girls. "The Dark Lord has given us permission to go on a rampage tonight."
"Go on a rampage?" asks another.
"Stop overhearing our conversation, Mudblood!" says Draco Malfoy. "Who is that?" I ask Harry. "Oh, that's just Draco. He's a jerk, but you learn to ignore him.' He's the son of the Wizard who killed... my dad, I think. That's what she said. Anyway, he's a pretty big supporter of Lord Voldemort."
"Yeah?

> You say "Draco's Lord Voldemort's son?"
"Yeah," says Parvati. "It's an outrage!"
"What, you think he doesn't deserve to be in the Dark Lord's good graces?" asks another girl.
I pull Parvati over so we can speak in private. "You're a Death Eater, Parvati?" I say. "No, just pretending so I can spy on them," she says. "Oh, good." I say. "Did you seriously think I was one for a second?" "Um, yes." "Well, that's a pretty dumb move on your part."
We go back to our conversation.
"So what do you want to do, Parvati?" asks the girl who overheard us.
"Oh, nothing. I was just talking to his shadow,"
Soon, it is Christmas at Hogwarts, and the house-elves are busy preparing the feast. Then Hermione says "I really don't think house-elves should work in these conditions," while a jolly scene gets conjured in the background.
"I don't care if the elves are Black," says Professor McGonagall. "They'll do as they're told."[sub]wot[/sub]

> You wonder why you ever made this fanfiction in the first place.
Soon, the feast is served, and it isn't so bad. After all, zombies are just brains with legs, so it's not like they're that different from yourself.

> You say "Zombies? At Hogwarts?"
"Everything will be fine," assures Harry. "We just need to block the doors to the west hall."
The west hall is where all the zombies are going to come from.
"Just like the song!"

> You say "What song?"
"This one," says Harry, "It's called 'The Zombie Song' . I think you wrote it, by the way."
"Yeah," you say. "I did."
"Righty-o,"
I ask "Why don't you just use magic to repel the zombies?" "Oh right." Harry says. "They can't touch anything living."
"I'll be back," says Harry. "I'm going to go speak to Mr. Flitwick about this."
Wait, who's Mr. Flitwick?
Mr Flitwick is the Charms teacher! And he's a squib!
Well, you have other concerns, but you accompany Harry anyway.

> You say "How could Mr. Flitwick be a Squib? After all, he is the Charms teacher."
I dunno, it just doesn't make sense. All the other teachers are wizards. Unless I'm forgetting something...
"Um, Mr. Graves?"
"Hm?"
"What exactly is a squib?"
I go to Nearly Headless Nick's party instead, where there are no zombies. But my ears almost go deaf by hearing several musical saws.
"I told you so."
"I told you so," says Nearly Headless Nick. "You really should listen to your ancestors more often."
I ask "What are you talking about?
Nearly Headless Nick responds with a story.
Once, centuries ago, there was a Wizarding school for little magical people. One of them was a Squib. They were the greatest wizards and witches ever. But they were also very arrogant.

> You leave the party, because your fear of going deaf is greater than your fear of zombies.
"I told you so."
"I told you so," says Nearly Headless Nick. "You really should listen to your ancestors more often."
Soon, my fears are realized.
With the help of literally every adult in the entire building, we make the zombies disappear. As expected, it is the House of Gryffindor who takes the lead on this, as always. I don't think this ends well for the other houses.
Harry asks "What are we going to do about this then?"
We help the other houses.
And then the next year happens. And the next.
And it's not just at Hogwarts either.[/spoiler]
Welp think thats a good ending to the story. If you want to know how I made this I used AI Dungeon.  [url=https://play.aidungeon.io/main/landing]Here it is if you're interested[/url]

Dollystana

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