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DispatchMetaGameplay

by The Office of The First Warden. . 381 reads.

The Grey Wardens - LARGEST UPDATE EVER

Welcome to The Grey Wardens' Omnibus Update On How Unbelievably Good We Are
i.e This Banner Image Took Like An Hour Or Two Please Give Me Validation


Hello World! Did you miss us? We've actually been really busy keeping NationStates clear of the Darkspawn Menace but kind of forgot to report about it for a while.... our bad there!

Over the last week, The Order of The Grey Wardens and our assorted comrades have been incredibly busy. Just in the defense category, we have achieved 237 victories. We'd like to, of course, thank The Black Hawks and LILY. Without them, we wouldn't be able to so consistently show how much better than the Raiders we are (tho we <3 LILY). However, this lack of content has meant that we have run into a problem. The PR Department had a lot of half-baked ideas, but nothing actually resembling a beautiful loaf of bread. This has been solved in the only way we know how - caffeine + turning up the sh*tposting to 11. Please enjoy A Semi-Comprehensive Update Of The Last Week Of Elite Actions By TGW.

Skip to the end to see what we actually did. -100 DKP if you skip to the end.


An In-Depth Scientific Comparison of TBH vs TGW. Artistically Memed By Matthew

With his recent promotion to Warden-Lieutenant, Matthew has significantly stepped up his contributions to The Wardens, including the creation of the phenomenal meme you see above.

Having unlocked our full potential as Elite Godgamers, The Order of The Grey Wardens has launched a deep study into what makes us more formidable than our winged foes. Following careful analysis by Warden-Lieutenant Matthew, we have have found both advantages for us and critical disadvantages that The Blawk Hawks face. Really, this all comes back to the critical variable of s t a m i n a, and it is where the advantage of the Elite Warden is clear.

With a lack of arms, and weak talons that require much rest, The Black Hawks are simply unable to ever reach a level where they have the stamina to handle a long-term battle against the likes of the Warden Front Line. Additionally, their sharp eyes allow them to spot regions, but also allow them to spot how magnificent our organization is as it executes every goal successfully. This envy builds and ultimately results in a tilted flight pattern for these birds. Moving away from the enemy and towards The Heroes of NationStates, The Grey Warden not only maintains a badass insignia, but their dexterity allows for them to don both a protective helm and tantalizingly lickable boots. This, coupled with their skill at slicing through the air with our swords, makes for a devastating Defending Machine which operates at peak capacity throughout countless engagements with the foe.

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An Excerpt of Talk Warden To Me - To The Tune of Jason Derulo's "Talk Dirty To Me

We're that org that you get on, so elite and all
First class loads at reports page, riding comfortable

'Cause we know what them raider need,
From Pacific to TCB
I got taggers up in my dossier,
You make it hard to leave

Chased around the world, don't speak the language
But your switcher don't need explaining
All I really need to understand is
When you talk Warden to me
Talk Warden to me
Talk Warden to me
Talk Warden to me
Get jumping on it

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Shout-Out To LILY


Hawk in absolute shambles at the sight of a Buzzy Bee

Any Elite Defender Military Organization needs an Elite Sort-Of-Raider Rival, and we here at The Grey Wardens are honestly chuffed to consider LILY ours. They are the perfect, speed-obsessed, dysfunctional, possibly cybernetically enhanced tagging organization that we need to accrue the immense statistics that we have consistently been acquiring this year. While the Defender Awards' Best Invader Group Award is usually given to a joke nominee, it's clear that LILY have been the most impressive Raid-Oriented Military present in Military Gameplay. Nobody else has pushed The Wardens, forced us to adapt and train, and demonstrated a raw dedication to speed that LILY have. Having broken record after record, LILY's light-hearted approach to their tag raiding has helped elevate the concept back out of its pit of irrelevance. In contrast to other groups, who suffer defeat after defeat in both the results and the stamina department, LILY's almost maniacal nature of throwing themselves into regions has made them stand out as one of the few successful groups this year on the Raider side of things.

LILY + TGW = BFFs Forever

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A Contest!

We're having fun, and we want you to have fun too! The first individual to either telegram a completed version of this crossword puzzle to Tim-Opolis or to Tim#6442 on Discord will be awarded 200 Darkspawn Kill Points (DKP).

Not sure what DKP are? That's no worries, because we're happy to show you if you check out our LinkOur Discord Server. However, for those who might need a little bit more convincing, they are basically an arbitrary system of brownie points given out and tallied monthly by Warden-Commanders. However, because of the raw charisma and ability to unite the masses that The Grey Wardens have, these points have quickly become the most desired currency to be awarded in this present Raiding/Defending NS Meta. Those who win the monthly DKP tally may be eligible for prizes including a virtual sack of potatoes, Tim's love and appreciation, and a pat on the head from Benevolent Thomas himself!

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A Comprehensive Summary Of Operations From Major 2020-06-19 to Major 2020-06-25

237 Defenses

Another fact of note here is that Libcord has, to our current belief, set the new Minor Update Chase Defense Record at 53 defenses. This was accomplished on Minor Update of 2020-06-23 in a combination of victories against TBH and LILY. Grey Wardens present at that particular update were High Constable Sir Merlin, Chamberlain Haku, and Commander Tim Stark. We were assisted by The South Pacific's SPSF, The Rejected Realms Army, and the Anti-Fairy Pact.

The Liberal And Academic Alliance
Gonorrhea
Ilha Do Povo
Pastnow
Damnation
The Revenger Federation
United Countries Of Nyx
Muppet Storage
Appalachian Entente
Europes
Religiousness
Atelvinia
Coastal
The Isonder Union
Valahia
Pewdiepie Fans
Prona
The Glorious Empire Of Bleh The Third
Core
Conservative Paradise
Anarchic Arctic Animals
League Of Nations Of The Rightful Arm
Ill3 Land
Ave Mundi
Wewwisaw
No U
The Allied Nations Of West Davenport
Brovasa And Surrounding Area
The Nasther Empire
Union Of Dutch Communities
Selenium Region
Mutual Monarchial Mastery
Be Gay Do Crimes
The Golden Wood
Baby P
Dreamworld
Naukratis
Foedere In Condimentum
Caelestis Universum
Region Of Casuals
Okbruh2
Carne De Vitello
Kingdom Of Belzerg
Socialist Assembly
Bastanbo Batallion V2
Nations Of Creation
Greater Eastasia
Alma Ruma
Northportugalinho
Lunchland
Dubian Conference
Anarchy Bro Land
Stoic Confederation
Babylonie
Do Whatever The Hell You Want
The Holy Land Of The Bringard
Thegoldpact
The Centrist Front
Grand Alliance Of Europe
Crescent Region
Appalachian Entente
The Coalition Of Haven
The Popular Front For A United Balder
The Planet Of Agilfigie
The Order Of Zeta
Epic Gamers
Flevoland
The Wild Hogs
Great Asian Empire
Asendavia
Friends Renting
Galactic Socialist Republic
Tikes
Europe Contenet
Dogecoin League
Sca Empire
Hispanic Union
The Southern Arctic Isles
Deus Ex Machina
Wewwisaw
Britainia
Chicken Overlords Advertisement Space
Selenium Region
Big Boy Bulgaria League
The Coalition Of Shokpo
Region Of Casuals
New Novus
Valaamskaya Rus
Notfunisland
Taegweg
Swampland
Wu Han China
The Kufkins
Humanist United International
The Mountain Region
Northportugalinho
Mmmmverygoodsmoodie
The Union Of Freedom
Social Democrats United
Eastern Region
The Buvvins
First Bus Kernow Services
Australialia
The West Coast
Planetary Galactic Governments Assembly
Union Socialista Bonslevique
The World Order
The Concord Of Nations
Solar Union
The Popular Front For A United Balder
The Liberal And Academic Alliance
The Brotherhood Of Small Nations
Real Boy Archipelago
Temporary Home
Region Of Jjmccullough
Test 2
The League Of Socialist States
Yeet
Comedy Islands
The Antarctic Isles
The Socialist Republics Of Staropolski
Mediterranean Area
Wewwisaw
Gru
The Allcaps Republic
The Freedom Patrol
United Coalition
German Duchies
Valyrn
Lusurian Solar System
Interplanetary Congress
Amsterlands
Sentagon
Naukratis
Grand Latin America
Cowboy Bebop
Sorority
Bootleg Japn
Fluffworld
Rossmark
Virginia Beach
New Republic Of Sovereign States
United Islamic Republic
Most Dear Country Reagion
Ironbeard Lands
Battenberg
Funland
Galaxy Fyla Jadndiar
Ted Talks Go Here
The Kufkins
United Federation Of Earth
Divonya
Region Du Grand Empire Allemand
Marobezo
Umm
Comfort Cabin
Duolingo Birds
Ethnon
Pacific Island Treaty Organization
Pastnow
Asteland
Universal States
The Coalition Of Haven
Areth
The Family
Meep
Oceanic
Armed States Of Georgia
Religious Freedom
The Commonweath Of Sutherlandia
Religiousness
Thieving Scoundrels
The Pendalian Emirates
Mesoamerica
Very Rare Only
Refuge Of Christ
Greater Eastasia
Tower Of Saint Constantine
Concord
Communist Space Union
Ted Talks Go Here
The New Confederation Of Dictators
The Train Station
The North Powers
Space Mud
Presbyteriland
Valaamskaya Rus
Eranor
The Unc
New Arshultzkow Pact
Snowy Deserts
The Wooloo Pact
The Bamboo Forests
Lost And Found
The United Socialist States Of The World
The Cozy Cottage
Munzenhan
Terra Aetheria
Auroran
Myzenmorean Empire
Sentagon
Freedom Force
Purple Pride
Central European Area
Mariahan
Meridia
Weebtopia
The Autocracy
Northwest Tibetquadoristanada
New Merciam
The Freedom Patrol
Alpha Quadrant
Nerdy Libertarian League
Dubian Conference
The Multiverse
Great East Europ Union
United Nations Of Calebia
The Vaiiey
Entity
The Trade Bloc Of Sucessor States
Cudreobar
Commie Land
Waifuland
Killer Keem
Combine World
The Tundra Archipelago States
United Kingdom Of The Netherlands
Eurozonereich
Ooga Booga
Neoquestria
Ingerlund
Everything
Reunificationnations
Nasjonal Samling
Indian Alliance Army
Orientalium
Net Neutrality Is A Form Of Hate Speech

60 Detags


All Wardens Present Throughout

High Constable Sir Merlin
Chamberlain Haku
Commander Tim-Opolis
Commander Altmoras
Warden-Lieutenant Matthew
Warden Makdon
Warden Kanglia

All Allies Present Throughout

The Anti-Fairy Pact

Anti-Winx

The Eastern Pacific Sovereign Army

Catiania

Founderless

Numero Capitan

The Rejected Realms Army

Jamie
Frattastan

The South Pacific Special Forces

Phoenix
Omega
SwiftyGamer
Prarie

Unaffiliated Comrades

Gorundu
Rom



In War, Victory.
In Peace, Vigilance.
In Death, Sacrifice.

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