What happens if you don't vote for Pencil Sharpeners 2?

You walk silently down the empty street; the crumbling ruins of the city around you. Flames flicker in the distance over the dying embers of what used to be our Earth. How could it have gone so wrong? But you know deep inside what the reason is, and you are racked with guilt every moment of your now meaningless, joyless life. ‘What if we had given Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un free pandas?’ you think to yourself as an irradiated dust cloud washes over you. ‘Maybe… just maybe that Pencil Sharpeners 2 guy was right - a free panda given to every human being would have been a good idea.’

It’s too late now though. You had your chance. And you blew it. As the storm picks up, a figure emerges from the haze - a giant statue of the part-time politician and full-time sex god Vladimir Putin. In this masterpiece carved of granite, he is cuddling a baby panda, a symbol of what could have been.
“WHY PRESIDENT PUTIN!?” you yell into the heavens, allowing more uranium-infused air into your fragile lungs. “WHY DID WE NOT LISTEN TO YOU AND YOUR STATIONERY-THEMED PARTNER!?”

It had been just two short years since Pencil Sharpeners 2 had lost the WA Secretary-General election, having run alongside Putin’s alias Agalaesia. You couldn’t remember which bland, faceless candidate had won, only that things had started going downhill quickly. Without adorable, cuddly pandas to keep them company, the people grew restless and bitter. The discontent began to seep out onto the streets, first with small scuffles, and then the big boys got involved: Kim Jong un with his red button; Trump with his bigger red button.

Putin stood, statesman-like and sexy as always, in between them, trying to de-escalate tensions and save the World. PS2 continued to munch bamboo and sleep, just as he had always done. But their efforts were not enough, and within months, the fate of our once-beautiful planet was sealed.

You reach a clearing in the rubble, and break down in tears as the scale of the devastation sinks in. Thousands of years of human history, all gone. And soon the humans will be too. You sink to your knees, coughing violently as the radiation poisoning spreads relentlessly through your body. This is it. This is the end. You have nobody to blame but yourself. You slump onto the ground as what remains of the World goes fuzzy, and then dark, around you. As you drift into permanent unconsciousness, the only thing coming with you is guilt.

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The future doesn’t have to be this way. You can change it. Vote panda. Vote peace. Vote PandAga2020.