The Holy Umbrian Empire of Orono

1. There is to be a high council
2. The Land of Districts and Definitely Not Denmark, as the oldest nations, shall be the rulers of it
3. Our goals will be economic growth, expansion, and the rebuilding of Orono
4. All enemies will be crushed
5. No flights to China until the Coronavirus is over
6. No flights to Western Africa until Ebola is taken care of
7. All armies will be used for invasions and defense of the homeland only
8. Moral Particularism is the encouraged state philosophy
9. The Districts of Orono will become a new Holy Roman Empire
10. The Mariani Family will be its head
11. The emperor can overthrow any decision the council makes
12. Free sushi for all government officers
13. DnD is the official boardgame
14. All gingers must be quarantined for they all have gingervitis
15. Labor day is now two days
16. Christmas is Dank
17. Litchfield must be burned to the ground
18. All dragons are owned by the government
19. All lead paint is banned
20. All frog legs must meet the K.E.R.M.I.T. test
21. All babies must pass the R.A.G.U. test or they will be made into Ragu sauce
22. All lottery will be made to determine which lower-class jobless people will rebuild good old Orono
23. Hotels are required to say they have 13th and 4th floors because stop being wusses
24. April 24th is the best day of the year because its Emperor Joey's Birthday
25. I am the senate
26. If you disagree then its treason and you will be attacked by the lightsaber Kermit squad
27. All teriyaki based foods are a new food group
28. No dumb millennial names, names must be picked or approved by a government database
29. All Hungarian, Finnish, and Irish lads can become permanent citizens whenever they want
30. I am surprised you are still reading this
31. The Good Place is one of the best shows ever
32. Nelli is in charge of dragon squads
33. Gum tastes good
34. Gelato and Ice cream are both good but must be labeled separately
35. Uni is banned
36. Watermelon is banned
37. Styrofoam is banned
38. Ikea is the only furniture store
39. Disney can't buy any more stuff
40. Joeyland is the hottest new theme park
41. Penguins will be trained as soldiers
42. Puffins are just as important as penguins
43. England is pretty cool and we will sell them tea
44. We will have a grimace army because Grimace from McDonald's is FORKIN terrifying
45. All people are encouraged to use The Good Place form of swear words
46. English is the official language
47. Smoking is banned
48. Non-medical drugs are banned
49. Glockenspiels are better than xylophones
50. You are still reading this! By the way, all of this is official. Once you comment you agree to all of this!