Security Council Resolution #342 “Commend Northern Borland” shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

The Security Council,

Conscious of the fact that the nation of Northern Borland is indeed an inspiration to many nations around the multiverse who may celebrate policies such as open markets and gun ownership,

Observing that, despite this fact, the resolution responsible for Northern Borland’s commendation is flawed and uncouth, misrepresenting Northern Borland and misleading voters,

Not entirely understanding the resolution’s glorification of the following:

• Obesity and consumption of unhealthy foods, while the health problems associated with such practices are not mentioned at all,

• Lack of child labor and child gambling restrictions, which may contribute to extreme levels of youth crime and general rudeness,

• A high rate of secularism in East Borland, yet also the heavily religious society of Deep South Borland,

• Destruction of the environment, despite praising Deep South Borland’s incredible environment,

Dreading the dangerous precedent set by the adoration of such policies, which may result in future recognition of other dangerous nations, scarring the meaning of a commendation,

Emphasizing the many occurrences of the informal and openly sarcastic language used throughout the proposal, such as:

• The observation that nations are “jumping with joy” over Northern Borland’s extremely high death rate due to the profitability of niche industries that only exist as a result of unfortunate circumstances,

• Irrelevant details such as the “fashionable” nature of business suits,

• Various disrespectful descriptions of people-groups such as “murderous lunatics” or “infidels”,

• Vague claims, such as East Borland “breaking multiple stereotypes” or linking a lack of courts with low crime rates, but not explaining the correlation,

Making a note of Northern Borland’s widespread influence over like-minded nations who wreak havoc on their citizens in pursuit of economic gain, which largely outweighs any positive influences the Borland nations may provide,

Nervously hoping the thousands of votes that went in favor of the resolution without considering the points listed above will be rethought, enabling the Security Council to once again be free of unsophisticated drivel,

Hereby repeals SC#342, “Commend Northern Borland”.