Historical Resolution #164 “Individual Self-Determination” (Category: Civil Rights; Strength: Strong) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

The United Nations,

AGREEING with the original intent of the resolution, primarily noting that the government should not obstruct the ability of a person to decide their own fate;

CONCERNED with both the infringement on sovereign governments that this resolution entails, and more notably, the open opportunities for abuse that this resolution does not address.

NOTING a substantial ideological shortcoming of the resolution, that the resolution infringes on the rights of religiously-driven governments (with open borders to prevent religious persecution) by forcing them to allow a controversial procedure that may contradict their doctrine;

AND NOTING the following practical shortcomings of the resolution:

-that clause 5, in allowing parents/guardians to make decisions on behalf of those 'uncapable' to decide themselves, allows parents and medical staff to take the life of someone under their care regardless of the reason;

-that clause 5, in considering patients that are "mentally incapable" of making such decisions, does not enumerate what "mentally incapable" shall be, allowing nations to potentially interpret such incapability as simply being below a certain age, allowing parents to legally take their child's life (through the medical system) if they are under a certain age;

-that 'encouraging' nations to require the request to go through a court system (as clause 5 requests) is not strong enough to prevent the above abuses, and that the above abuses are far too severe to be permitted by the UN in any way;

-that clause 7 only states one example of a death-inducing method that should not be permitted; and that "humane, painless and fast-acting" is too vague to serve as adequate criteria for evaluating methods (a gunshot to the head, for example, is painless and fast-acting, and its 'humanity' is impossible to evaluate objectively);

-that clause 3, in citing "severe chronic disease" instead of simply "terminal disease", allows the Right to Die to be invoked on diseases that will not result in death, including notably severe depression and other psychological diseases; essentially, the resolution fails to prevent those with psychological disorders that increase a patient's desire for death from invoking the Right to Die as a form of legal suicide;

-that the entire resolution, by permitting hospitals to start allowing patients to invoke the Right to Die, introduces bizarre and morbid market implications into a mortal situation; the resolution will have the unintented side effect of forcing hospitals, in an attempt to restrict costs and stay in business, to advise their patients based on their abilitity to pay their medical bills; uninsured patients are sure to be more likely to be advised to invoke the Right to Die than patients able to pay their bills.

AND NOTING that the above problems do not simply amount to loopholes that can be exploited, but are full problems that absolutely will have an unintended negative effect.

REPEALS UN Resolution 164, "Individual Self Determination"

ADVOCATES a new resolution reaffirming the right of people to determine their own fate, provided that resolution addresses the above practical concerns and avoids overt infringment on nations' sovereignty.

Co-authored by Cristia Agape

The United Nations,

Acknowledging the essential nature of water for general economic use and personal needs, including drinking, bathing, sanitation, and food preparation;

Noting that many water sources (e.g., rivers, aquifers, and glaciers), and the water from those sources, cross multiple national boundaries, making water a shared resource among nations;

Concerned that the quality and availability of water for all is highly dependent on actions within individual nations;

1. DEFINES clean water as water reasonably free of pollutants and able to robustly support biodiversity of native aquatic species;

2. PLEDGES itself to the complementary goals of clean water and water conservation;

3. REQUIRES members to take steps to improve general water quality, appropriate to its various uses, including but not limited to restricting introduction of chemical or biological contaminants into water resources as a result of personal, industrial or agricultural uses;

4. DEFINES waste water as a mixture of water and dissolved or suspended solid or liquid contaminants discharged from sources such as, but not limited to, domestic residences, commercial properties, industrial or agricultural operations.

5. MANDATES processing waste water to remove contaminants and disinfect the effluent prior to discharge at any location that would bring it into contact with another water source or subwatershed which provides potable water within its boundaries.

6. REQUIRES nations to institute effective water conservation policies and techniques to maximize use and benefit of available water resources, including measures to be taken by individuals, as well as, those applicable to commercial use, such as reclamation of water used in manufacturing and cooling;

7. URGES the formation of regional consortia to examine and implement water quality and conservation policy and to provide management for regionally shared water resources;

8. ENCOURAGES nations to reduce pressure on water resources through long-range water supply forecasting, water planning and management, and policy decisions in pertinent areas, such as establishing water rights and priorities, urban development policies, and water banks;

9. STRONGLY ENCOURAGES nations to ensure persons' access to clean water in sufficient quantities to meet their daily needs for sustenance;

10. TASKS the UN Environmental Agency, established under UNR 217, with the following specific activities with respect to water issues:

a. Provide general, technical and educational assistance to nations in the development and implementation of water quality improvements, conservation techniques and management plans, identification of new water resources, and development of water-use auditing systems;

b. Produce annual water quality profiles for each member nation, adjusting for unique geology, biology and water resources concerns, and including non-binding potability and contaminant reduction goals;

c. Arrange aid in the form of low or no-interest loans to nations who lack sufficient local funding for emergency remediation in either water quality or availability issues.

11. ENCOURAGES members to work with non-member nations in cooperative projects to improve regional water quality, conservation and access.

12. AFFIRMS that nothing herein requires relinquishment of riparian or water rights, whether individually, communally, or state owned.

Historical Resolution #30 “Common Sense Act II” (Category: Civil Rights; Strength: Significant) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

UN Resolution #30: Common Sense Act II (Category: Human Rights; Strength: Significant) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

Argument: The United Nations,

REGRETFULLY ACKNOWLEDGING that individuals may be reckless, irresponsible, ignorant and/or foolish, and

SOBERLY MINDFUL of the potential for the waste of time and resources represented by such individuals,

NONETHELESS REMAINS AGOG at the chutzpah exhibited in crafting a resolution that seeks to legislate against stupidity, yet which simultaneously fails to account for the myriad factors involved in personal decision-making, and furthermore

RAILS MOST FURIOUSLY at those who seek to undermine the lofty goals of this institution by assailing it with such egregious trivialities and alarmist pettifoggery, and consequently

RIGHTEOUSLY PURIFIES the UN statute of this most disingenuous resolution by

REPEALING United Nations Resolution #30: Common Sense Act II.

Historical Resolution #223 “Max Barry Day” (Category: Education and Creativity; Area of Effect: Educational) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

These here fine United Nations,

Commending Resolution #223's laudable purpose, to recognize truly great men and their achievements;

Duly congratulating this resolution's intended honoree on his many titles from coed beauty pageants throughout the NS world;

Expressing its concern, however, that this resolution breaches the reasonable limits to which this body has traditionally held itself;

Chagrined that amidst the many serious problems the world faces today, including war, terrorism, poverty, oppression, corruption, pestilence, disease, famine, malnourishment, starvation, taxes, illiteracy, substandard education, substandard sex education, imperial measurements, necrophilia, space junk, nations not labeling chemicals correctly, shortages of computers for schoolchildren, invisible tree people, shortages of computers for invisible tree schoolchildren, rampant ecclesiastical self-defenestration, and reluctance to eradicate the Arctocephalinae, the United Nations would actually pass a resolution declaring an international holiday for some dude who started a Website suggests that this institution's priorities are somewhat out of whack;

Randomly kicking ambassadors in the nuts for even thinking this proposal was a good idea,

Hereby repeals Resolution #223: Max Barry Day.