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“Happy Holidays!”

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The Grand Christmas Wonderlands of Zolistecija and the Euqorijan Isles is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Prime Minister Santa Claus with a fair hand, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, state-planned economy, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.125 billion Zolistečijans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jingleburg. The average income tax rate is 71.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zolisteči economy, worth 138 trillion candy cane coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 123,478 candy cane coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, parents seeking custody have to write a five-thousand word analysis of their child's imaginary friend, and vaccinations are mandatory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zolistecija and the Euqorijan Isles's national animal is the reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Kringleism.

Zolistecija and the Euqorijan Isles is ranked 50,137^th in the world and 18^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 5,119.53 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.