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The Eternal Misfortune of Xynlandia

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Eternal Misfortune of Xynlandia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by some random guy with an iron fist, and renowned for its flagrant waste-dumping, public floggings, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.994 billion Xynlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order is also considered important, while Education and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of XXXX. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Xynlandian economy, worth an astonishing 12,994 trillion Xyniums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 649,941 Xyniums, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A new apartment is worth a thousand betrayals, heart attack victims are thrown onto the rails, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up, and government policies change at the drop of a rabbit. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Xynlandia's national animal is the Xylophone, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the best religion.

Xynlandia is ranked 33^rd in the world and 1^st in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Lowest Crime Rates, with 343.15 law-abiding acts per hour.

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