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The Eternal Misfortune of Xynlandia

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Eternal Misfortune of Xynlandia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by some random guy with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, complete lack of public education, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.592 billion Xynlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order also on the agenda, while Education and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of XXXX. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Xynlandian economy, worth an astonishing 14,944 trillion Xyniums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 692,115 Xyniums, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women who miscarry have their death-masks displayed in the Wax Museum's "Sociopaths and Serial Killers Exhibit", policemen want to put the nation's homosexuals up against a wall, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, and an underground group of geologists hides new discoveries to protect them from being destroyed in the name of safety. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Xynlandia's national animal is the Xylophone, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is the best religion.

Xynlandia is ranked 115^th in the world and 2^nd in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Largest Governments, scoring 107.17 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.

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