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The Kingdom of Wops

“Wopi wop-wops”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Kingdom of Wops is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by the Wopmeister with an iron fist, and remarkable for its feral children, complete lack of prisons, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.899 billion Wopins are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The relatively small, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Administration, with Spirituality also on the agenda, while Education and Law & Order are ignored. The average income tax rate is 10.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Wopish economy, worth 11.4 trillion cents a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 3,923 cents, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is illegal for a parent to tell a child to stop eating their boogers, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, foreign students are expected to have a Kegmeister Grade Average of 36-24-36 to qualify for university, and Wops recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Wops's national animal is the dolphin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Wops is ranked 244,367th in the world and 61st in Wysteria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 3.84 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 321stMost Primitive: 429thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 645thHighest Crime Rates: 882ndFattest Citizens: 1,817thMost Armed: 2,015thMost Devout: 2,171stTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 3,313thMost Avoided: 3,750thNudest: 6,101stTop
Most Income Equality: 12,885thMost Valuable International Artwork: 19,516th
Most Income Equality: 1st in the regionTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Primitive: 5th in the regionNudest: 5th in the region

National Happenings

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