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The Republic of White Noise

“Blood for Blood”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Critical Mass

Regional Influence: Hermit


The Republic of White Noise is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Thomas Richard Harryman with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and enslaved workforce. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 23.184 billion White Noiseans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dethklok. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The frighteningly efficient White Noisean economy, worth a remarkable 6,307 trillion Bloodmarks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 272,075 Bloodmarks, with the richest citizens earning 9.8 times as much as the poorest.

Card players are calling the government's bluff on anti-gambling legislation, teams of painters are converting road signs from horse lengths to kilometers, women no longer need to pepper conversations with incessant references to fictitious husbands, and lending money has become a major liability. Crime is totally unknown. White Noise's national animal is the Blood Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Pastafarian.

White Noise is ranked 1,511th in the world and 1st in Critical Mass for Most Stationary, with 3,734.70594312 days.

Largest Publishing Industry: 125thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 295thHealthiest Citizens: 346thMost Cultured: 353rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 404thMost Developed: 567thLongest Average Lifespans: 624thHighest Food Quality: 671stSmartest Citizens: 742ndMost Rebellious Youth: 759thLargest Information Technology Sector: 787thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 878thMost Patriotic: 901stHighest Disposable Incomes: 990thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,100thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,303rdMost Beautiful Environments: 1,462ndMost Stationary: 1,511thHighest Economic Output: 1,702ndMost Armed: 1,912thBest Weather: 2,301stMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,563rdTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,619thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,641stNicest Citizens: 2,798thMost Inclusive: 2,983rdHighest Average Incomes: 3,082ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,314thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,401stLargest Black Market: 3,537thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,553rdMost Corrupt Governments: 3,635thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,917thMost Influential: 6,191stLargest Populations: 6,626thLowest Crime Rates: 8,937thTop
Most Secular: 16,362ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 17,485thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19,435thLargest Governments: 19,834thHighest Poor Incomes: 20,263rd

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.