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The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso

“God and Federation”

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The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Nicolás Maduro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.005 billion West Calypsoans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Education and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tropico. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The enormous but inefficient West Calypsoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,481 trillion Minoan tala a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 211,541 Minoan tala, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The dish 'poisson avec poison' is only available on the black market, everyone apparently sends Nicolás Maduro hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child, a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went, and dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. West Calypso's national animal is the little owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Madurology.

West Calypso is ranked 1,569^th in the world and 1^st in West Calypso for Fattest Citizens, with 48.99 Obesity Rate.

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