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The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso

“God and Federation”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: West Calypso

Regional Influence: Hermit


The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Nicolás Maduro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.005 billion West Calypsoans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration also on the agenda, while Education and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tropico. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The enormous but inefficient West Calypsoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,481 trillion Minoan tala a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 211,541 Minoan tala, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The dish 'poisson avec poison' is only available on the black market, everyone apparently sends Nicolás Maduro hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child, a small country is wondering where their capitol building's gold dome went, and dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. West Calypso's national animal is the little owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Madurology.

West Calypso is ranked 1,569th in the world and 1st in West Calypso for Fattest Citizens, with 48.99 Obesity Rate.

Most Primitive: 25thMost Ignorant Citizens: 34thMost Devout: 42ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 107thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 194thMost Corrupt Governments: 213thMost Conservative: 462ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 489thMost Avoided: 599thMost Authoritarian: 678thLowest Crime Rates: 772ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 791stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,059thLargest Black Market: 1,199thFattest Citizens: 1,569thMost Extreme: 1,782ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,973rdLargest Governments: 2,077thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,251stTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 2,928thNudest: 5,560thHighest Average Incomes: 5,747thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,557thTop
Highest Economic Output: 12,080thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 18,727th

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