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The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso

“Seriously, don’t try copying dystopias in real life!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Red Bolivarian States of West Calypso is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Nicolás Maduro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.759 billion West Calypsoans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Spirituality, and Administration are also considered important, while Education and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tropico. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The enormous but inefficient West Calypsoan economy, worth a remarkable 2,004 trillion Minoan tala a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 205,359 Minoan tala, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule, the national Police Academies have dedicated infant wings, students who refuse to pray are expelled from school, and twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. West Calypso's national animal is the little owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Madurology.

West Calypso is ranked 275,803^rd in the world and 1^st in West Calypso for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -34.09 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

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