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The Kingdom of Valoptia

“Strength Through Fire and Steel”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Kingdom of Valoptia is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its complete lack of prisons, strictly enforced bedtime, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 335 million Valoptians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.2%.

The strong Valoptian economy, worth 35.4 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 105,668 pounds, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 375,355 per year while the poor average 21,437, a ratio of 17.5 to 1.

Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, nerdy teenagers have to prove that they're made of the same stuff as their grandparents, a new "thought police" branch is being developed, and scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valoptia's national animal is the goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valoptia is ranked 238,372^nd in the world and 1,614^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Drug Use, scoring 14.6 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

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