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“The internet is a series of tubes filled with cats.”

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The Quasi-Utopia of Toastsylvania is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Toastchan with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, devout population of 2.809 billion Toastsylvanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toastsylvania City. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Toastsylvanian economy, worth 236 trillion Fig Newtons a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 84,344 Fig Newtons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation, citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals, one can wake up in Toastsylvania and have breakfast in Bigtopia, and prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Toastsylvania's national animal is the Nyan Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Toastsylvania is ranked 310,477^th in the world and 5,804^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring -7.75 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.