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The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of The Shining Purple Light

“Ua Mau ke Ea o ka ʻĀina i ka Pono”

Category: Libertarian Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The Western Isles

Regional Influence: Hatchling


The Kapa ʻEhu Kai of The Shining Purple Light is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Queen Ululani with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, frequent executions, and lack of airports. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical population of 11.298 billion Kānaka are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Honolulu. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Kanaka economy, worth a remarkable 1,519 trillion Pūpūs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Information Technology industry. Average income is an impressive 134,487 Pūpūs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake, stylish juvenile delinquents are highly overrepresented in fatal motorcycle accidents, the government's new priority is citizens' access to cat videos, and healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease. Crime is totally unknown. The Shining Purple Light's national animal is the Nēnē, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Mana.

The Shining Purple Light is ranked 942nd in the world and 2nd in The Western Isles for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 24,780.18 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 389thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 418thLargest Welfare Programs: 527thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 685thMost Advanced Public Education: 942ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 946thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,436thMost Inclusive: 2,137thMost Beautiful Environments: 2,285thTop
Most Pacifist: 2,639thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,725thLargest Governments: 2,871stMost Developed: 2,976thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,347thMost Cultured: 3,403rdLongest Average Lifespans: 3,436thBest Weather: 3,594thMost Compassionate Citizens: 3,856thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,937thNicest Citizens: 3,966thLowest Crime Rates: 5,905thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,153rdSmartest Citizens: 6,351stHealthiest Citizens: 7,307thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,331stHighest Poor Incomes: 10,723rdMost Influential: 10,982ndHighest Economic Output: 11,443rdTop
Most Efficient Economies: 14,458thHighest Average Incomes: 18,306thMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,448thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 18,533rdMost Secular: 18,757thHighest Drug Use: 20,785th
Largest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 4th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 5th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionMost Pacifist: 6th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionLargest Governments: 7th in the regionMost Developed: 7th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 8th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 9th in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 10th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 11th in the regionNicest Citizens: 13th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 13th in the regionNudest: 15th in the regionMost Cultured: 15th in the regionBest Weather: 16th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 17th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 19th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 19th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.