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The Croupier of The Sands Casino

“Place your bets, please”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The Sands

Regional Influence: Power


The Croupier of The Sands Casino is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lady Fortune with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 6.799 billion gamblers enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, with Law & Order and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the poker table. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.8%.

The frighteningly efficient gambling economy, worth 934 trillion chips a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 137,431 chips, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 498,780 per year while the poor average 26,969, a ratio of 18.5 to 1.

Virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in the poker table, the Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, t-shirts displaying a photo of Lady Fortune performing the Full-Monty are selling out, and Tesco was recently named as the new national treasurer. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. The Sands Casino's national animal is the gambler, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is getting rich quick.

The Sands Casino is ranked 182,596th in the world and 10th in The Sands for Most Primitive, scoring -196.73 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,507thLargest Retail Industry: 1,582ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,636thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,856thTop
Fattest Citizens: 2,298thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,444thHighest Crime Rates: 2,455thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2,672ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,693rdMost Avoided: 5,056thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,978thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,050thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,157thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,164thRudest Citizens: 7,407thMost Armed: 7,925thMost Rebellious Youth: 10,267thTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 10,546thMost Efficient Economies: 14,201stMost Corrupt Governments: 15,726thHighest Average Incomes: 16,506thMost Cultured: 16,810thMost Stationary: 18,078thHighest Economic Output: 18,163rdMost Influential: 18,288thHighest Drug Use: 19,255thNudest: 20,664th
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the region

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