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“Antes morrer de pé que viver de joelhos!”

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The Republic of The Portuguese Workers is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Glorioso Camarada Bruno with an even hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 30.98 billion Portuguese Workersians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Porto. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Portuguese Workersian economy, worth a remarkable 7,307 trillion escudoes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 235,878 escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies", television characters who ask how someone's doing are charged with harassment, old fossils give the tours at the parliamentary museum, and anti-government web sites are springing up. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Portuguese Workers's national animal is the laughing cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Portuguese Workers is ranked 329,279^th in the world and 137^th in Portugal for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -48.62 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.