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The Republic of The Free Columbian States

“Facts don't care about your feelings.”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Freedom Retreat

Regional Influence: Superpower


The Republic of The Free Columbian States is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by President Shapiro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.443 billion Columbians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District of Alexandresia. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Columbian economy, worth 204 trillion Columbian Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 141,722 Columbian Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

It can be a real jungle in a modern courtroom, pre-schoolers who draw stick figures of their favorite celebrities are sued for infringing image rights, online weather reports are predicting five years of glorious sunshine for The Free Columbian States, and not many kids know Shakespeare's Hamlet but most of them have seen unofficial sequel Hamlet III - The Search For Osric. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Free Columbian States's national animal is the Raccoon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Protestant Christianity.

The Free Columbian States is ranked 84,673rd in the world and 1st in Freedom Retreat for Most Extreme, scoring 18.12 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,872ndLargest Mining Sector: 1,932ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,182ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,729thMost Devout: 2,744thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,167thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,590thMost Avoided: 4,088thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,244thFattest Citizens: 4,527thMost Armed: 5,050thMost Primitive: 5,434thHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,921stTop
Largest Black Market: 8,992ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,416thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9,433rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,474thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,892ndMost Efficient Economies: 13,266thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13,686thHighest Average Incomes: 14,743rdMost Subsidized Industry: 16,522ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 16,813th

National Happenings

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