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The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat

“Get up for the down stroke”

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The People's Republic of The Crooked Beat is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Star Child with a fair hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 42.715 billion Crooked Beatians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded, outspoken morass — prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Social Policy, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Law & Order receive no funds. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Crooked Beatian economy, worth an astonishing 11,738 trillion Pyramids a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 274,804 Pyramids, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The recital of citations that follows any political speech can be longer than the speech itself, undersea volcanoes receive strongly worded letters for violating environmental regulations, political shows are fit for purpose, and crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination. Crime is totally unknown. The Crooked Beat's national animal is the Unfunky UFO, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Crooked Beat is ranked 276,829^th in the world and 8^th in A Modern World for Most Conservative, scoring 30.25 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.

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