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“Spirit Horse ride for me”

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The Democratic People's Republic of T0rtvga is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Chief Hunting Hawk with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.153 billion T0rtvgans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized morass — prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Welfare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Rez. The average income tax rate is 81.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant T0rtvgan economy, worth 22.9 trillion Quetzals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 19,890 Quetzals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is technically inaccurate to call the dead 'worm food', policemen regularly conduct midnight raids on closed donut shops to 'collect evidence', torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, and the nation is famous for bravely sending wave after wave of its soldiers until the enemy runs out of bullets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. T0rtvga's national animal is the Thunderbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Heya Hoyaism.

T0rtvga is ranked 77,209^th in the world and 96^th in Fifth Empire for Lowest Crime Rates, with 70.86 law-abiding acts per hour.