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The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers

“You cannot be a true man until you learn to obey”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Constitutional Monarchy of Suomers is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Desider Ludwig Wilhelm von Bismarc with an even hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, daily referendums, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.669 billion Suomersians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaliningrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Suomersian economy, worth 732 trillion deniers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 199,728 deniers, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 999,637 per year while the poor average 22,412, a ratio of 44.6 to 1.

Things are looking up for sentient toilet bowls, the slowest students feel vaguely targeted by their Mendelian Inheritance coursework, thousands of picky mothers-in-law have been recruited to serve as even pickier cookery instructors, and there's no representation without taxation. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Suomers's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Suomers is ranked 138,863rd in the world and 6,597th in The North Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 22,412.85 Standard Monetary Units.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 754thLargest Retail Industry: 1,063rdFattest Citizens: 1,366thMost Influential: 1,383rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,409thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,805thHighest Crime Rates: 1,808thMost Devout: 1,922ndRudest Citizens: 2,165thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,248thMost Avoided: 2,408thMost Armed: 2,547thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,656thTop
Largest Mining Sector: 2,890thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,959thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,819thMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,218thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,476thHighest Average Incomes: 7,504thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,003rdLargest Publishing Industry: 8,098thMost Cultured: 8,895thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,699thMost Efficient Economies: 10,491stLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,208thTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 13,776thMost Patriotic: 14,682ndSmartest Citizens: 16,497thMost Cheerful Citizens: 17,729thLargest Gambling Industry: 17,887thLargest Black Market: 24,921st
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 45th in the regionFattest Citizens: 48th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 58th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 64th in the regionMost Devout: 72nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 74th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 75th in the regionMost Avoided: 76th in the regionMost Armed: 81st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 82nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 91st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 104th in the regionTop
Rudest Citizens: 130th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 146th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 226th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 237th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 296th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 335th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 381st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 401st in the regionMost Influential: 435th in the regionMost Cultured: 444th in the regionLargest Black Market: 444th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 499th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 507th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 509th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 509th in the regionMost Patriotic: 544th in the regionTop
Largest Gambling Industry: 622nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 645th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 864th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 865th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 869th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 904th in the regionMost Stationary: 1,028th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 1,029th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1,177th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 213 » The Tampa Bay Rays, Hardscrabble, Aerilia, Koda-Land, The Rhein States, Orado, Svenskskit, Bankowiata, Notyoutopia, Great Bights Mum, Omnistria, Yaorozu, Ethnon, Valentine Z, Guer Aike, Shibutani, Zyvetskistaahn, Dreadton, Former English Colony, Runeda, Corfad, Siwale, New Lakemba, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Empy, Xentherida, North Bratislava, Pallaith, Sikol, Wilkshire, Sunto, 1 very fast endotarter, Loutsland, Kranostav, Pasargad, Wineclaw, Frances Francis the First of France, Sil Dorsett, Seenvorland, Votak Matim, Simone Republic, Wisconsota, Maott, Ice and Tinian, Aryan Homeland, Xagill, Yellops, Tyirza, Xyrron, Steampunk Ariel, and 163 others.ForestMythal, Seanat, Katuda, Greater Ale Permars, Card Kingdom, Merconitonitopia, Ellbonnia, Capablanca, Joodey, Andanavia, Sopernia, Ariele, Unshleepd, Perikuresu, Eternal Dominion, Malta Comino Gozo, Tibus Heth, AmManies, United Soviet State of North Amerika, Paradeavenlisian States, New Trisone, Advancia-Sizzletown, Nordic-British Union, Hellsinky, Tachycardia, Vincone Cae, Napnomadia, Yukti, Laudesia, Kwaj, Sojenre, Destroedor, Batatoland Empire, Q w e r t y, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Holy Marcus Empire, Parpyduckland, Eastern Apalstan, XD 2, Kastonvia, Aenglaland, The Erie Doctrine, Pazair, Dakota Territories, Federation Terra Australis, Bongo Mountain, Inspiratus, Intelbrazia, Tehmistan, Fran Advar, Pinguioris, Confederacy of North America, Bornodia, Kingdom Of Manaf, KAP03land, Cobolica, Ohiyo, DarThvadrville, Ayuzhhhhh, The Arverni Lands, Kandorith, Landraya, Konolas, Waystar Fujiwara International, Gragadoia, Unsophisticate, Regallio, GPT-3, Bagojo, Henrys milk state, Flurbleland, Myrenia, Hops and Malt, Buckerino, Hulldom, Loli County, Constantinolia, Hoppem, Ahssn, Ardonii, United Kahndaq, Varisland, Gurou, PotatoFarmers, Filibustra, Oannia, Omicron Persei V111, Travislavania, Plangainer, Artoriticitys, Valiacorkit, Gildenshtuck, United States of Dictators, Galbadiana, Napnap, Prevaland, Reminie, Selfgradatude, Rainengrad, Heilhum Imperius, The Jerichowan Country, Pinky Queen, Bardopia, Just Vibin, Lovarpia, Testnation223, The Zheng Dynasty, Piura, Scroplia, Praestania, Communist Beijing Must be China, Miyasaka, Surb Clant, Ishtimbine, Berke Khan, Antiyard, Alfenheim, Sechiole, Guslantis, Sea Star Islands, Hopenadya, Liberepublia, SteelFists, Choi Aeguka, Yokciq Empire, Meadowfields, Individualist Catopia, Kaulankiland, Imperial Nation Nlaaciaroepmi, Cowbridge, Zelenaya Dolina, The Austro Germanic Union, Neo Santos, Riocht mor Daraen, Ovekisu, Chipoli, Kurkmeistan, Kaschovia, TheLandOfFunFunFun, FLORRP, Davidianian, Atrito, Intion North, Radicaster, Bud Prussia, Wolffoxia, GrayingOut, Liberate World Order, The Serdey Islands, Alqaran, King Rainbow Cat, Etanur, New American Nations, Greater Cesnica, Cult of Silence, Idotistanistan, TyGerria, Antipodea and Allies, Tsandonown, New Soges, Furballland in TNP, Socialist Industrial Council Republics, and Iukatia.