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The Protectorate of Stanislovakania

“Integrity, Liberty, Morality.”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Location: Capitalist Paradise

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Protectorate of Stanislovakania is a massive, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its vat-grown people, compulsory gun ownership, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 3.655 billion Stanislovakanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Administration, Education, and Defense also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Stanislovakanian economy, worth 763 trillion bribes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 208,824 bribes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,720,487 per year while the poor average 5,263, a ratio of 326 to 1.

It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity, and belief that Leader is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Stanislovakania's national animal is the orca, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Money.

Stanislovakania is ranked 1,177th in the world and 18th in Capitalist Paradise for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 18,917.66 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

Highest Wealthy Incomes: 807thRudest Citizens: 814thMost Armed: 882ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,013thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,020thHighest Crime Rates: 1,037thFattest Citizens: 1,069thLargest Retail Industry: 1,128thLargest Gambling Industry: 1,177thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,234thMost Avoided: 1,313thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,524thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,542ndTop
Largest Mining Sector: 3,743rdMost Efficient Economies: 3,801stNudest: 4,455thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4,903rdMost Corrupt Governments: 5,093rdMost Rebellious Youth: 5,411thHighest Average Incomes: 6,636thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 6,803rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,077thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,886thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,641stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,763rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,154thLargest Information Technology Sector: 12,234thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,485thTop
Smartest Citizens: 23,417thMost Cultured: 23,890th
Nudest: 1st in the regionTop
Most Armed: 11th in the regionRudest Citizens: 11th in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 12th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 13th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 16th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 16th in the regionMost Avoided: 18th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 18th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 18th in the regionFattest Citizens: 19th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 20th in the region

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