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The Protectorate of Stanislovakania

“Integrity, Liberty, Morality.”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Protectorate of Stanislovakania is a massive, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its vat-grown people, compulsory gun ownership, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 3.655 billion Stanislovakanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Administration, Education, and Defense also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Stanislovakanian economy, worth 763 trillion bribes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 208,824 bribes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,720,487 per year while the poor average 5,263, a ratio of 326 to 1.

It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity, and belief that Leader is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Stanislovakania's national animal is the orca, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Money.

Stanislovakania is ranked 1,177^th in the world and 18^th in Capitalist Paradise for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 18,917.66 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

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