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The Armed Republic of Sprinkler

“To rule and opress”

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Armed Republic of Sprinkler is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Adolf Einstein with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, compulsory military service, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.582 billion Sprinklerians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purgatory. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Sprinklerian economy, worth a remarkable 4,416 trillion slaves a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 460,879 slaves, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,287,133 per year while the poor average 4,524, a ratio of 947 to 1.

Politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, a shipwreck is everyone's fault but the captain's, and there'll be no comeback tour for many former boy bands. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Sprinkler's national animal is the subhuman, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Sprinkler is ranked 12,302nd in the world and 278th in the South Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 7,044.24 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

Highest Wealthy Incomes: 68thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 86thMost Corrupt Governments: 104thMost Avoided: 105thLargest Retail Industry: 120thHighest Disposable Incomes: 153rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 158thFattest Citizens: 174thMost Armed: 209thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 215thRudest Citizens: 266thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 283rdLargest Insurance Industry: 305thMost Scientifically Advanced: 307thLargest Mining Sector: 336thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 406thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 432ndHighest Average Incomes: 541stLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 731stHighest Crime Rates: 792ndLargest Gambling Industry: 800thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 809thMost Secular: 895thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 962ndMost Efficient Economies: 973rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,242ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,277thMost Patriotic: 1,416thSmartest Citizens: 2,091stTop
Highest Economic Output: 3,211thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,660thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,251stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,546thLargest Governments: 5,200thMost Subsidized Industry: 12,302ndTop
Most Stationary: 13,537thMost Influential: 15,662ndLargest Black Market: 18,137th
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 7th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 10th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 10th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionFattest Citizens: 11th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionMost Armed: 14th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 15th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 16th in the regionRudest Citizens: 20th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 21st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 23rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 26th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 31st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 33rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 35th in the regionMost Secular: 39th in the regionMost Patriotic: 41st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 51st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 64th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 70th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 86th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 100th in the regionTop
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 141st in the regionLargest Governments: 149th in the regionLargest Black Market: 247th in the regionMost Stationary: 247th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 278th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 315th in the regionLargest Populations: 391st in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 712th in the regionMost Extreme: 923rd in the regionMost Developed: 960th in the regionMost Influential: 976th in the region

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