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The Free Kingdom of South Calvinia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Caleb the 7th with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The compassionate, devout population of 4.687 billion Calvinians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toledo. The average income tax rate is 69.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient South Calvinian economy, worth 523 trillion Coppers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,664 Coppers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

South Calvinian scientists are mixing chewing tobacco with bacon flavouring in an attempt to craft the perfect male snack, bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins, only the richest get to see out of their windows, and picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. South Calvinia's national animal is the Beagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

South Calvinia is ranked 264,680^th in the world and 11,118^th in Lazarus for Most Extreme, scoring 8.59 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.