Spotlight on:

The Serene Socialist Republic of Socialist Soviet Armenia

“Why does the economy stagnate?”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Serene Socialist Republic of Socialist Soviet Armenia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Agastya Nadadhur with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, unlimited-speed roads, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.265 billion Armenians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gyumri. The average income tax rate is 97.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Armenian economy, worth a remarkable 2,004 trillion Armenian Ark Silver Drams a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 275,939 Armenian Ark Silver Drams, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Graverobbers claim they're acting within the interest of 'scientific preservation', the new 'Things We Stole From Other Countries' exhibition at the National Museum of Antiquities is a hit, it is technically inaccurate to call the dead 'worm food', and the nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialist Soviet Armenia's national animal is the Hammerhead Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Socialist Soviet Armenia is ranked 277,465^th in the world and 13,265^th in The North Pacific for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.34 crimes per hour.

Top
1%Top
5%Top
10%Top
1%Top
5%Top
10%