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The All-Pervasive Infestation of Socialist Cockroaches

“Cockroaches shall rule the world!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The All-Pervasive Infestation of Socialist Cockroaches is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by the King of Cockroaches with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, prohibition of alcohol, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.906 billion cockroaches are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olson Middle School. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish cockroach economy, worth a remarkable 4,884 trillion toilet paper rolls a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. Average income is an impressive 181,543 toilet paper rolls, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Cops with assault weaponry are forcing their way into private homes to search for terrorists, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, astronomers are flocking to Socialist Cockroaches to take advantage of its clear night skies, and the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Socialist Cockroaches's national animal is the human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is state atheism.

Socialist Cockroaches is ranked 4,400^th in the world and 1^st in Toilette for Nudest, with 1,170.75 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

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