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The Soviet Satellite State of Siegrune

“Marx und Wodka”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Soviet Satellite State of Siegrune is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalsekretär Erik Honacker with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, enslaved workforce, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.067 billion communist thralls are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of East Berlin. The average income tax rate is 71.2%.

The frighteningly efficient communist economy, worth a remarkable 5,968 trillion bananas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 258,739 bananas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians look weirdly alike, the nation has an international reputation for compassion, surfers ride tsunamis of record height and toxicity, and epidemiologists happily announce that the reported incidence of depression is close to zero percent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Siegrune's national animal is the spring-gun, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Marxxxism.

Siegrune is ranked 35,671^st in the world and 771^st in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 79.63 law-abiding acts per hour.