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The Jumhūriyya of Shafii Somalia

“Allāhu Akbar”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Jumhūriyya of Shafii Somalia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by 'Umar Warsame with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, pith helmet sales, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 7.999 billion Somalis are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muqdisho. The average income tax rate is 90.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Somalian economy, worth a remarkable 1,529 trillion shillins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 191,240 shillins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Black tea is only available on the black market, oddly simian-looking religious thugs beat up anyone who suggests humans are related to monkeys, medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak, and on-duty Air Shafii Somalia flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Shafii Somalia's national animal is the cheetah, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Shafii Somalia is ranked 13,408^th in the world and 10^th in Pecan Sandies for Lowest Crime Rates, with 95.99 law-abiding acts per hour.

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