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The Free Land of Self Harm

“If you survive you'll wish you hadn't”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Free Land of Self Harm is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Venerable Great Reader Adolph Kinkler with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.914 billion Self Harmians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of яма геноцида счастливого хорошего друга. The average income tax rate is 94.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Self Harmian economy, worth 537 trillion skittering mass of venomous arachnids a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 280,980 skittering mass of venomous arachnids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens have an obligation to remain silent and anything they say may be used against them, onions have been banned due to their tendency to cause eye irritation, breaking rocks in the hot sun now involves using your head, and Venerable Great Reader Adolph Kinkler's relatives have been married into the royal families of foreign nations against their will. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Self Harm's national animal is the Psycho, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Kult of Kinkler.

Self Harm is ranked 255,762^nd in the world and 6,731^st in Balder for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -33 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.

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