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The Free Land of Self Harm

“If you survive you'll wish you hadn't”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Location: Balder

Regional Influence: Sprat


The Free Land of Self Harm is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Venerable Great Reader Adolph Kinkler with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.914 billion Self Harmians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of яма геноцида счастливого хорошего друга. The average income tax rate is 94.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Self Harmian economy, worth 537 trillion skittering mass of venomous arachnids a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 280,980 skittering mass of venomous arachnids, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens have an obligation to remain silent and anything they say may be used against them, onions have been banned due to their tendency to cause eye irritation, breaking rocks in the hot sun now involves using your head, and Venerable Great Reader Adolph Kinkler's relatives have been married into the royal families of foreign nations against their will. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Self Harm's national animal is the Psycho, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Kult of Kinkler.

Self Harm is ranked 255,762nd in the world and 6,731st in Balder for Most Rebellious Youth, scoring -33 on the Stark-Dean Displacement Index.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 1,301stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,503rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,970thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,489thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,519thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,793rdMost Patriotic: 2,797thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,247thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,378thMost Secular: 3,767thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,772ndLargest Black Market: 3,950thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,117thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,449thLargest Mining Sector: 4,901stLargest Governments: 6,204thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,219thMost Subsidized Industry: 6,584thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,688thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,931stMost Scientifically Advanced: 7,344thMost Developed: 7,919thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 8,334thLowest Crime Rates: 8,556thMost Conservative: 10,671stMost Authoritarian: 11,599thLargest Welfare Programs: 11,661stLargest Retail Industry: 11,784thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 12,251stSmartest Citizens: 12,300thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 14,761stMost Efficient Economies: 15,825thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 20,070thLongest Average Lifespans: 21,672ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 22,662nd
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 58th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 61st in the regionTop
Most Patriotic: 82nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 84th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 111th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 113th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 115th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 123rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 124th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 137th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 166th in the regionMost Secular: 167th in the regionLargest Black Market: 169th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 203rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 226th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 245th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 257th in the regionLargest Governments: 275th in the regionMost Conservative: 297th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 299th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 331st in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 350th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 352nd in the regionMost Developed: 366th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 398th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 441st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 572nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 581st in the regionMost Extreme: 585th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 597th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 616th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 628th in the region

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