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The Hellish Reality of Schlueter

“Plan for the worst, hope for the best.”

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Lazarus

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner


The Hellish Reality of Schlueter is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Jason with an even hand, and renowned for its enslaved workforce, complete lack of public education, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 29.526 billion Schlueterians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Dimas. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Schlueterian economy, worth a remarkable 8,704 trillion gumballs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 294,803 gumballs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,477,686 per year while the poor average 6,648, a ratio of 372 to 1.

Beating enemies to death with a baseball bat is legal if done within nine innings, it's said that a Schlueterian always pays his debts with significant compounding, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, and tampons are used as cheap fishing bobbers. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Schlueter's national animal is the kitten, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Schlueter is ranked 104,854th in the world and 3,564th in Lazarus for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 1,904.58 on the Hickory Productivity Index.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 114thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 205thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 312thMost Avoided: 323rdLargest Gambling Industry: 336thFattest Citizens: 382ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 388thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 490thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 496thLargest Mining Sector: 583rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 661stHighest Economic Output: 673rdMost Stationary: 791stLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 837thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 840thHighest Crime Rates: 946thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 963rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1,037thLargest Retail Industry: 1,219thRudest Citizens: 1,257thMost Armed: 1,587thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,681stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,825thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,028thHighest Average Incomes: 2,207thTop
Largest Populations: 2,597thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,996thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,198thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,519thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,079thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,616thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,885thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,048thTop
Most Influential: 11,977thMost Efficient Economies: 14,034thLargest Black Market: 14,513thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,707thMost Pro-Market: 20,282ndSmartest Citizens: 20,714thMost Secular: 22,867th
Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7th in the regionMost Stationary: 11th in the regionFattest Citizens: 13th in the regionMost Avoided: 14th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 14th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 16th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 21st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 21st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 21st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 28th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 30th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 36th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 36th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 38th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 39th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 42nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 42nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 51st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 55th in the regionMost Armed: 64th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 81st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 82nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 95th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 99th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 101st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 133rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 153rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 167th in the regionMost Influential: 244th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 245th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 328th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 354th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 449th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 484th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 505th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 622nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 709th in the region

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