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The Absolute Units of Schitz

“Furthermore, I am a bell end”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Political Freedoms:

Location: Gatesville Inc

Regional Influence: Superpower


The Absolute Units of Schitz is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a bell end with an iron fist, and renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.521 billion utter morons are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schmendrik. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish full on idiot economy, worth a remarkable 2,347 trillion Bills a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Furniture Restoration industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. Average income is 76,915 Bills, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, the government refuses to transmit electricity to secessionist regions, no true communist is an unbeliever, and first-time moms are expected to be experienced parents from day one. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schitz's national animal is the grundle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is mostly shouting at people.

Schitz is ranked 207,934th in the world and 11th in Gatesville Inc for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 1.49 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.

Most Devout: 39thMost Beautiful Environments: 74thMost Primitive: 74thBest Weather: 98thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 103rdLowest Crime Rates: 144thMost Pacifist: 254thHighest Average Tax Rates: 350thLargest Governments: 476thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 575thMost Corrupt Governments: 782ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 851stHealthiest Citizens: 1,835thMost Influential: 1,939thLargest Populations: 2,356thTop
Most Stationary: 2,530thSmartest Citizens: 2,771stMost Advanced Public Education: 2,998thMost Authoritarian: 3,254thHighest Economic Output: 6,839thMost Conservative: 7,987thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,636thMost Extreme: 16,432ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 20,069thLargest Welfare Programs: 21,479th
Most Influential: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Extreme: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » Scuyuup and Schlemeils.