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The Casual Vampiress of Safiya Nygaard

“The Merkin Has Flown”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: Card Farmers Association

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise


The Casual Vampiress of Safiya Nygaard is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Tyler with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.413 billion Nygaardians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shmash. The average income tax rate is 70.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Nygaardian economy, worth 540 trillion Likes a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 122,523 Likes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the Safiya Nygaard Blood Tithe, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned Crustyball fields, and men's magazines give handy tips on the most effective way to throw heavy stones. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Safiya Nygaard's national animal is the Crusty, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dressing Like It's the 90s.

Safiya Nygaard is ranked 109,923rd in the world and 5th in Card Farmers Association for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 2,622.85 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Most Avoided: 3,481stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,122ndLargest Black Market: 4,969thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,591stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6,011thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,479thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,660thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8,712thLargest Retail Industry: 9,500thMost Armed: 12,997thTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 16,290thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 16,373rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,368thMost Patriotic: 19,868thMost Efficient Economies: 19,931stMost Authoritarian: 20,415thLargest Welfare Programs: 20,724thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 21,941stMost Ignorant Citizens: 23,819thHighest Average Incomes: 25,123rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 26,533rd

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