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The Bruuman Protectorate of Puerto Pollo

“Pappapishu!”

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The Bruuman Protectorate of Puerto Pollo is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by El Pollo Diablo with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, parental licensing program, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 23.135 billion Puerto Polloans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Danjer Cove. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Puerto Polloan economy, worth a remarkable 5,965 trillion Ipecacuanhas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 257,876 Ipecacuanhas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions, there'll be no comeback tour for many former boy bands, police nightsticks see use all day long, and half-submerged and flooded seaside hotels are technically still next to the beach. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Puerto Pollo's national animal is the South Pacific Feral Chicken, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Secular Agnosticism.

Puerto Pollo is ranked 922^nd in the world and 29^th in the South Pacific for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 15,709.15 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.

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