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“Honeydew is gross!”

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The Second Best Fruit on Pizza of Pineappleistania is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with a fair hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, free-roaming dinosaurs, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 6.639 billion Pineappleistanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and International Aid. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pineapple Pizza Poptropica. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Pineappleistanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,908 trillion pineapples a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 438,135 pineapples, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,960,941 per year while the poor average 5,813, a ratio of 681 to 1.

Bedknobs and broomsticks are often seen flying through the air, rioting and unrest sweep the nation, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, and citizenship applications are processed in the time it takes to smile and say "next, please". Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Pineappleistania's national animal is the pineapple, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is pineappleism.

Pineappleistania is ranked 1,664^th in the world and 32^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 14,299.31 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.