The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar
“All Hail The Magic Conch”
|Category: Iron Fist Consumerists|
Regional Influence: Squire
The Holy Pink Morons of PatrickStar is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by The Magic Conch with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.717 billion Patrick are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."
The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 95.9%.
The powerhouse Patrick economy, worth a remarkable 2,344 trillion Patricks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 241,274 Patricks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.
The Magic Conch's power is effectively nullified as no bill becomes law without the upper house's support, Patrick caught jaywalking often have their houses seized by the police, elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment, and creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PatrickStar's national animal is the Patrick, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Conchism.
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
- : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Altino".
- : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Ensuring Effectual Recycling".
- : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Commend Evil Wolf"".
- : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "GMO International Trade Accord".
- : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Promotion of Recycling"".
- : PatrickStar voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Commend Nuremgard".
- : PatrickStar voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Integrity in Law Enforcement".
- : PatrickStar was reclassified from "Psychotic Dictatorship" to "Iron Fist Consumerists".
- : PatrickStar was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.