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The Hellish Nightmare of Paindania

“Pandas may be black and white, but politics never are.”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Hellish Nightmare of Paindania is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by General Banboo with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, enslaved workforce, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.446 billion Paindanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pandayongyang. The average income tax rate is 79.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Paindanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,440 trillion Llama wool blankets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 115,767 Llama wool blankets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Genetic research has been halted, grandparents tell young ones tales of the good old days when people had cake on their birthday, first-time moms are expected to be experienced parents from day one, and children in school learn that marriage and slavery go hand in hand. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paindania's national animal is the Panda, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Communism.

Paindania is ranked 44,311^th in the world and 14^th in The Interdimensional Community for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.01 law-abiding acts per hour.

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