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The Protectorate of Paffnicard 4

“Agricultura pro illis qui agriculturam requirunt”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: 10KI Card Farm

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker


The Protectorate of Paffnicard 4 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, avowedly heterosexual populace, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.151 billion Paffniacs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Paffniac economy, worth 480 trillion banks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 115,829 banks, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility, immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups, and foreign powers often deal with problems that Paffnicard 4 can't handle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnicard 4's national animal is the card, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is card farming.

Paffnicard 4 is ranked 13,895th in the world and 3rd in 10KI Card Farm for Healthiest Citizens, with 12.55 bananas ingested per day.

Most Patriotic: 6,225thMost Armed: 9,151stMost Devout: 10,963rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,999thTop
Healthiest Citizens: 13,895thMost Developed: 14,705thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,930thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,858thLowest Crime Rates: 17,464thMost Efficient Economies: 17,966thMost Subsidized Industry: 18,430thLongest Average Lifespans: 18,640thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 20,731stMost Scientifically Advanced: 21,872ndMost Corrupt Governments: 24,279thLargest Mining Sector: 24,336th
Most Developed: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
Longest Average Lifespans: 4th in the regionMost Devout: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionMost Patriotic: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 5th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 6th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6th in the region

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