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“Eu sou o teu Líder e tu vais gostar, pá!”

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The Holy Imperialist Xicado of Ossela is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Xico II with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, public floggings, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.719 billion Osselenses are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Industry, although Environment, Defense, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Education aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ruselos. The average income tax rate is 45.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Osselense economy, worth 506 trillion Sardinhas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 107,319 Sardinhas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The government takes agricultural advice from a wasp-themed superhero, commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, the government is under the thumb of countless special interests, and the Betamax versus VHS debate continues to rage strongly in Ossela. Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ossela's national animal is the Black Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ossela is ranked 289,168^th in the world and 113^th in Portugal for Most Pacifist, with 9.16 cheeks turned per day.